There is no soft stepping, lightheartedness about it. As one of my favorite Toby Mac songs says, "This is not a test, this is the real thing." We better hope we have learned our lessons well because now what we have learned (or not) is on display.
To say the least, there is social unrest regarding a number of injustices committed against black Americans. Most recently weighing on our hearts is the murder of George Floyd. I can't watch the video, I just can't. I'm that person who can't watch fake violence in movies. I am outraged. I am speaking out. However, I did watch the video of the woman in Central Park who refused to leash her dog.
Here was my comment:
Honestly the most upsetting part of this, to me, is I don’t think she realized her racism. She was a woman by herself and a black man talked to her. We can obviously see he is calm, keeping his distance and is in no way threatening her. I really don’t believe she is just intentionally lying. She is noticeably agitated and frightened. Your true beliefs come “shining” through when you are scared. No more pretending. How do we attack this kind of racism? It’s one thing to believe you are superior to another, but when you are afraid, the emotion takes hold before logic ever stands a chance. That is what upsets me the most about this. Well intentioned, “nice” people who can’t see they are part of the problem. And I’m probably one of them.
On a completely different note, my family is in the middle of a great loss. I've been silent about out of respect to the family, but my heart is heavy as my husband's dear aunt Vicki is being snatched quickly away. She had been feeling weak and not well for a few months, but they didn't find anything. Less than a week ago she was in the hospital with testing and they found metastatic cancer, probably was pancreatic originally, but it's everywhere now. There is nothing they can do, so they sent her home for hospice so her family can be with her. She is fading fast and her children believe she will go home to the Lord any moment.
Update: Vicki just passed away. This post was written before, and I haven't edited it.
What do these two seemingly unrelated tragedies have in common? When the pressure is on, the truth comes out.
The woman in the park didn't believe she was racist. If asked, she surely would not have said she was afraid of black people or "saw color." However, when she was alone in the park and a black man approached her, asking her to leash her dog (reasonable thing, it's the law, after all), she became frightened. When she felt safe and was in polite company, she could put the words together to say the "right" things and be a "good person." She held the beliefs: Black people are just like me. Black people are not more likely to hurt me. But those beliefs never made their way into her heart. In a moment of fear, the truth came out.
Aunt Vicki, the faithful Catholic, went to mass her whole life. She is kind and loving. She forgives others even when they do unforgiveable things to her. Now less than a week after she found out her time on earth was being cut short, what does she believe? I mean really believe? I see her at peace. Her life was well lived, she didn't have time to "get right," to "say the right things" or get ready to leave. She didn't need it because her truth matches her words. The truth is coming out.
How about us, her family? We are losing her. She is leaving permanently. But what do we believe? Here is the daily bible verse for today from 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17:
On that day, with a command that thunders into the world, with a voice of a chief heavenly messenger, and with a blast of God’s trumpet, the Lord Himself will descend from heaven; and all those who died in the Anointed One, our Liberating King, will rise from the dead first. Then we who are alive and left behind will be snatched up together with them into the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. This is how we, the resurrected and the living, will be with Him forever.
What great encouragement, what comfort! In the verses before (13-15) Paul tells the church, Hey! Don't be like all the unbelievers who grieve those who die. Jesus died and rose again, so will we! Be sure of this! (paraphrased). So when we are sad and overwhelmed with grief, the truth will come out. Do we read the bible and pray "to be good" or out of obligation? Are the words empty to us, recited and repeated because they sound nice or make us feel like we're "good"? When you face actual death, then what? Are you filled with despair and without hope? Do you really believe? The truth will come out.
Aside:By the way, I'm not saying you cannot grieve or be really, really sad if you are a Christian. Paul simply says don't weep like those who don't share our hope in Jesus. He doesn't say don't weep or mourn. Jesus tells us blessed are those who mourn in Matthew 5:4. We are human and even Jesus was so moved he wept for his friend Lazarus (John 11), and probably for Mary and Martha who grieved their brother, even though he knew He was going to raise him again.
What if we find ourselves having prejudices, resentment or denial about our privilege, turning a blind eye to oppression? What if the words we read in the bible (or what if we don't read) seem empty to us or if we feel overcome by fear and anxiety, not trusting in the Lord?
The key word in that paragraph is now. We don't wait another minute. Not even one. We admit our doubts, our fears, our weaknesses. We lean into it. Now is the time to internalize the beliefs we espouse, not to leave them there, unanalyzed, untested, fruitless. We don't wait until we're in the fire. We need to change how we think now. It is no accident Paul commanded the Christians to rein in their mind.
He told the believers in Philippi in 4:8:
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy. 9 Keep to the script: whatever you learned and received and heard and saw in me—do it—and the God of peace will walk with you.
He also told the believers in Rome in 12:2:
2 Do not allow this world to mold you in its own image. Instead, be transformed from the inside out by renewing your mind. As a result, you will be able to discern what God wills and whatever God finds good, pleasing, and complete.
I said it already, but I'll say it again: the time is now to internalize our beliefs. Let us stop living in cognitive dissonance, saying we believe one thing, yet acting the complete opposite. Let us life consistently. It is a daily, life long process. Let us focus on what it is right, beautiful, true, not "go with the flow" of this world. We need to be transformed from the inside out.
Because in the end, whether we like it or not, ready or not, the truth comes out.
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