Life is good

I have such a peace in my life right now, I just want to savor it. I feel the need to count my blessings right now - I mean there is so much I take for granted every day, like the love of my wonderful husband, daughter, parents, siblings, other family, church family, friends, a warm house, car, clothing, a job I love, great students, nature, not to mention a Savior who loves me so much I can't even comprehend and who is there for me every day when I fail or hurt. However, very recently, the following are great blessings to me I wish to thank God for and record so I don't forget.

1. I submitted my portfolio last Monday, so that's out of my hands. I only have my board exams to worry about, which I'll think about later. A year's worth of going crazy and working unimaginable hours, amazing lessons learned, the friendships forged, finding out who my real friends were, and now such a feeling of accomplishment and relief.

2. My daughter has gained a new joy from reading, which has transferred to me. She has always been a spectacular reader, but now she's discovered that she can travel to other places all by herself while reading. The other night, she and I sat together quietly each reading our own book. She finished a 100+ page book (no pictures) in a day! (she read after school some and at home) This has encouraged me to do the same - I'm usually working on school work or playing a game with her. I'm excited about the prospect of getting into reading again (I've read a novel in the past few days :)

3. During testing and after testing the past 2 days (no regular classes), I managed to plan until the end of the year for all my classes. I still have some worksheets, activities to create, but the plans are laid out. That is such a load off my mind - I always like to know where I'm going, to have a plan. Even though I am quite flexible, I feel like having goals in mind helps both me and my kids to achieve higher.

4. I feel physically better than I have in forever. I'm no longer tempted to overeat or by food my body is not calling for but that my emotions were. I have enjoyed exercising every day for the past 50 days (except once I just forced myself, when I was so tired but knew I wouldn't have time after school!). I have lost ~5 inches in my waist and as many in my hips, and 17 pounds. My clothes are getting very baggy and I'm getting into some I haven't worn for years. All of the exterior benefits are so exciting, but more importantly I no longer feel enslaved to my desires.

5. I have exerted my boundaries in several instances lately and didn't feel the guilt or temptation to change them or blame others for violating them. I'm learning to take responsibility FOR only what is mine and put my foot down when others try to unload on me. I haven't felt like a bad person or needed someone else to assure me I was right. I first read a Boundaries book for kids back when Hannah was born. I thought - wow! This is great for adults! - and got the regular Boundaries. I have read it a few times over the years and each time learn more. I don't know why it never occurred to me I could say no to people and still be loving and a Christian. I felt like sacrificing what I needed was the right thing to do, even though it left me less able to serve and sometimes feeling resentful and lacking in ability to be there for my family and in my spiritual life. I now realize it's not selfish, but what even Jesus needed - quiet time to be with His Father.

I list none of these wonderful things to brag - I feel so truly blessed right now. I serve such an amazing God who is with me through the good and the bad. There are a lot of sad things going on right now too quite close to me, such as those ill, hurting, grieving, struggling in other ways, stubborn and turning their faces from the Lord and those who love them, others overwhelmed by life's woes. But for now I just want to take the time to revel in all God has blessed me with and savor this moment.

Testing

Everything has been going pretty well - today was the 32nd day in a row I've worked out! I am still really watching what I eat too and have lost 10.5 lbs. Since I'm 1 month in, that leaves me 2 months for the other 20!

This is probably going to sound whiny, but I'm really frustrated right now and feel like I'm being tested. I figure when I have as far to go as I do right now, it shouldn't be so hard to lose weight! But, I've totally plateaued already - most of the weight was lost in the first 2 weeks or so. That being said, I have continued to lose inches in my waist and hips (the only 2 areas I measured). My clothes fit better. I just feel like when I am pushing myself as much as I am, it shouldn't be so hard to drop some pounds. This could be a good thing, though. I need to work out and eat what my body calls for (vs. what I emotionally want) NOT just to get results and be rewarded, but because it's what God calls me to do. He knows what's best for me. I'm going to stay away from the scale for a while and keep plugging!