As you are aware, around two years ago I lost a bunch of weight and took up running. Well, slowly the pounds have been creeping on and my running has been suffering. All my running clothes look terrible on me and none of my jeans fit like I'd like (if at all). I swore this would never happen.
So, I started Weight Watchers again a month ago. It felt good to have that discipline back in my life that I need so much. The first week I lost 2 lbs. Okay, not bad, I figured it may be more than that considering how I usually roll, but okay. I have continued to follow the plan and have kicked up my running too. Before I honestly had gotten down to running 4 miles with my mom on Saturdays and maybe a 3-miler in the week, that's it. And what once were easy runs were about all I could take. Once I started WW, I began running almost every day 3-4 miles, once even 5! In fact that was so encouraging to me because I felt like maybe I couldn't do runs longer than 4 anymore. I'm heavier than I've ever been as a runner. But, I keep thinking, I'm following the plan, I'm exercising very regularly and intensely, this is going to change. The runs are getting a little easier! I'm going to be back in my clothes in no time!
This morning the scale tells me I'm up 1 lb. from where I started a month ago. Well, the scale doesn't matter, it's your clothes, right? Guess what, same story. My clothes are just as tight and my body doesn't look more toned either.
I'll give you one guess as to how I feel. It's not fair, right? I've been disciplined in my eating and exercise habits and this is the thanks I get? Well that was a waste of money and all that self-control, for what?
Feeling discouraged, I knew I needed to bring this to God today. I mean, it's Independence Day - family celebrations, remembering those who sacrificed it all for our country - today isn't about me, and right now I need some healing of my spirit before I can face the day.
So, I opened my bible to Romans 12. One of my very favorite verses is verse 2, you know the one- about not conforming to this world but being transformed by the renewing of our minds. But then I noticed the verse before it:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship.
Whoa.Yes, I want to look good and fit into my clothes, but that is not why I need discipline in my eating and exercise habits. My body is not my own, I offer it as a living sacrifice to God. This is even an act of worship!
My whole life, eating is my idol, my #1 sin you might say. Whether I'm eating for pleasure and hating my body or on a diet, obsessing over my body, I'm engaging in idol worship. Yes, I know this, yet I still struggle with it.
So where does this leave me today? Does this mean now that I know my focus has been off, I ask Him for forgiveness, and He rewards me with a better body? Maybe, but maybe not! I'm going to keep eating healthy, for satiety not just pleasure, keep exercising, caring for the temple He gave me. I'm going to cry out to Him when I'm feeling discouraged or empty, not food or a Diet Coke. I'm going to offer my body as a living sacrifice to God, to worship Him, not because I expect anything in return. Why?
Because my Father is so glorious and beautiful, He deserves all of our praise and sincerest worship.
Because I trust Him. He has done nothing but love me in the past, nothing but take what tiny gifts and sacrifices I have given Him and blessed me back a thousand times.
That was exactly what I needed today. Thank you, God! The pity party is over and I'm ready to be who I need to be today. God bless anyone who is reading this Independence Day!
