It seems odd because they're so much older than me (they're my parents!), but I feel so connected to my parents that I feel like I'm going through so many things together with them. For example:
*My mom and I went through/are going through menopause together (mind you, mine was surgically induced)
*Recently my right eye gets very bloodshot when I don't get enough sleep. It never used to do that, and mom's does the same thing (never used to).
*I feel my dad and I are on the same spiritual plane. He recently told me he felt ready to go "home" just like I felt yesterday (still feel). I remember thinking - I might feel like that some day. Well, some day is here sooner than I thought!
Here is the kicker: I got a mailing from...*drum roll, please*... AARP. Seriously. I just turned 39, for heaven's sake!
All in all, I could do a lot worse than turning out to be my parents. However, I just thought it would be several more years!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
My home
Well, it's been a little while since I've been on Facebook and I don't feel like I've missed a lot. I do miss connecting so easily with my friends who I don't see every day, those who live out of town especially, and I'll bet my friends with newborns are posting pictures that I'm missing! That aside, this has been a good thing for me.
I feel like the Lord really has my heart these days. I look forward to reading my daily bible devotionals that I get via email, especially Girlfriends in God. I hope this doesn't sound morbid, but I just want to go home. I know I'm young and have so much to live for, but I'm tired. I'm not giving up, I'm not depressed, I just know that heaven is such a better place. Honestly for the first time, I don't feel like I have so much left to do that I don't want to leave. I mean, of course I do, but there will always be more. I just feel like my heart is moving "home" and not in worldly things anymore. Nothing here is really such a big deal that it competes with being in Jesus' presence constantly, in His perfect peace.
I feel like the Lord really has my heart these days. I look forward to reading my daily bible devotionals that I get via email, especially Girlfriends in God. I hope this doesn't sound morbid, but I just want to go home. I know I'm young and have so much to live for, but I'm tired. I'm not giving up, I'm not depressed, I just know that heaven is such a better place. Honestly for the first time, I don't feel like I have so much left to do that I don't want to leave. I mean, of course I do, but there will always be more. I just feel like my heart is moving "home" and not in worldly things anymore. Nothing here is really such a big deal that it competes with being in Jesus' presence constantly, in His perfect peace.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Times of uncertainty- where God shines
It has been such a long time since I've blogged! I was never very regular about it, but I'm going to try. It certainly isn't as though I need one more thing, ha ha! I'm hoping this will be the start of a deeper dependence on God.
Finishing this year and looking forward to next school year is very stressful right now. I feel worn out and even heartbroken about the loss of a dear colleague (yet happy for her!) and the mistreatment of another. I have some difficult decisions to make for next year. I am not sure how I will be able to handle teaching 6 classes, especially with 36 IB kids when this year, having 24 is killing me off. I have help with Spanish Club and Sociedad Honoraria Hispanica (SHH) this year, but next year I will not. I currently get to school around 6am every day and almost never leave before 5 or 5:30, not to mention all the time on the weekend I spend working. What will next year be like? I'm starting to think my lack of energy since all this menopause business has less to do with hormones and more to do with my working myself to death. I feel like I owe it to my family to drop Spanish Club and SHH, but no one else will do them and the kids will pay the price. Yet the administration must know that even the most devoted teachers are capable of only so much and something has got to give.
Even as I write this, I feel petty and selfish in the wake of the terrible earthquake and tsunami in Japan, absolutely devastating. They are even expecting another, though the damages and losses are, well, devastating.
The passage that has been my mantra all day Friday and this weekend is Isaiah 40, especially verses 28-31, which I include here:
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
What an encouragement! He is so awesome, no one compares - yet He cares for us and lifts us up. Thank you, Father!
For lent (even though I'm not Catholic!), I gave up Facebook in an attempt to depend more on Jesus to fulfill me instead of other more superficial things.
To end on a lovely note, I was so encouraged to hear that Danielle has been dating a Christian who has brought her to Christ! I get all choked up just thinking about it. Praise God!
Finishing this year and looking forward to next school year is very stressful right now. I feel worn out and even heartbroken about the loss of a dear colleague (yet happy for her!) and the mistreatment of another. I have some difficult decisions to make for next year. I am not sure how I will be able to handle teaching 6 classes, especially with 36 IB kids when this year, having 24 is killing me off. I have help with Spanish Club and Sociedad Honoraria Hispanica (SHH) this year, but next year I will not. I currently get to school around 6am every day and almost never leave before 5 or 5:30, not to mention all the time on the weekend I spend working. What will next year be like? I'm starting to think my lack of energy since all this menopause business has less to do with hormones and more to do with my working myself to death. I feel like I owe it to my family to drop Spanish Club and SHH, but no one else will do them and the kids will pay the price. Yet the administration must know that even the most devoted teachers are capable of only so much and something has got to give.
Even as I write this, I feel petty and selfish in the wake of the terrible earthquake and tsunami in Japan, absolutely devastating. They are even expecting another, though the damages and losses are, well, devastating.
The passage that has been my mantra all day Friday and this weekend is Isaiah 40, especially verses 28-31, which I include here:
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
What an encouragement! He is so awesome, no one compares - yet He cares for us and lifts us up. Thank you, Father!
For lent (even though I'm not Catholic!), I gave up Facebook in an attempt to depend more on Jesus to fulfill me instead of other more superficial things.
To end on a lovely note, I was so encouraged to hear that Danielle has been dating a Christian who has brought her to Christ! I get all choked up just thinking about it. Praise God!
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