Voy en camino: Living, part 1

Part 1 of 3

Dying is nothing to be afraid of. Come hear the story of how Grandma Lois gracefully showed us how to live, even as she died.

Saturday morning, September 28th, I can't remember if I called her or she called me, but mom said Gram wasn't doing well and they were going up there (to the nursing home she lived in the last few weeks of her life).
She was sure she was going to die. Mom and Jo Ann were there, but not Gene.

Grandma was distressed because Gene working at an event (sells silver polish at fairs) and she couldn't reach him (he doesn't have a cell phone). Thanks to the internet, I was able to talk to someone running the event who got a message to him. Unfortunately he couldn't just leave, as all the cars blocked him in.

I threw together some sandwiches and a cooler of drinks, as no one thinks of these things when you're in a rush. That was my role when my father-in-law died 3 years ago, but that is a story for another day. We made the 1 1/2 hour drive and prepared ourselves to see Grandma, as mom distressedly described her, not doing well.

As I sat with her, we talked of old times and she even laughed. Mom said she just came back to life. And that is how she was that weekend, as everyone she loved came to see her. The cousins came: Daniel and kids, Michael, Malissa and Emily, her sweet friend Mary Tremel who took care of her, Jilli, Jamie and their husbands and kids.

She was so worried Gene wouldn't get there before she died, but he made it. She seemed to relax even more after that. Then she heard Tom was driving up from Texas, along with his wife Cheryl and daughter Elaina. She said:
Well, I guess I'll have to wait for Tom.
Then Tom got there Sunday morning and she heard Matt was coming later.
Well, I guess I'll have to wait for Matt.
Matt and Carson came and chatted with her. Then she heard David was coming.
Well, I guess I'll have to wait for David.
David came and went to dinner with us. Grandma went to the dining room, but didn't eat anything. She fell asleep. So, we went back to her room. She was ready.

That weekend, she got to see her inner circle, the ones left on this planet she wanted to see. She told each of us what we meant to her - that we were wonderful kids, grandkids, and that she loved us. At one point, she lifted her arms and just said it is all about Jesus, that she wanted each of us to know Him and accept His love. Her impromptu sermon was exactly what you would expect someone who lived the life she lived to say. She walked with Him, loved Him, served Him.

Anyone who spent any time with her knew a couple of things. She could barely see and even with her hearing aid in her good ear (she was deaf in the other), you had to shout and if there was a crowd of people or background noise, forget it. However, on and off, she got her senses back those last couple days. She clearly saw things across the room. A couple times my mom swore she heard perfectly without her hearing aid. My brother Matt spoke in a very low voice to my Grandma in the middle of a crowded room of people and she understood him completely.

Monday was quieter. Mom, Jo Ann, Gene were with her during the day and I arrived as quickly as I could after school. She was less lucid than normal, I believe one foot was in this world, one in the next. She talked a lot about pies. She loved to bake pies, and a lot of her life was spent doing just that. She would go on and on about pies, then snap out of it when a nurse came to check on her or if you asked her a question.

Mom and Jo Ann went home, as it had been a long day. Gene was around, visiting with some other residents he knew. I sat quietly with her, talking a little bit, but mostly just quiet. She seemed very peaceful. It was past dark. She turned to me:
"You go home. I believe I can rest now."
During the night, she died in her sleep, just as she hoped she would.

On Tuesday, October 1st during my plan period right after I found out Grandma died, I posted on Facebook:
"I’ve felt God’s presence strong and real my whole life, sometimes stronger than others because my faith is weak, and I just want someone physically there with me. I’ve often wondered what it must have been like for the disciples to actually be in the presence of Jesus. A human with frailties and limitations yet with unlimited ability to love. People flocked to Him not just because of what He did for them but because He was different. He embodied generosity, kindness, genuineness, humility and truth.

Well, truthfully I feel just as lucky getting to spend the first 47 years of my life with a lady who is heaven’s true ambassador to this world. Everyone she met mattered to her and they knew it. At age 100, she remembered names, birthdays, people. I used to think it was because she had an uncanny ability, but truth is, she just chose to spend all her mental energy on others. She knew that focusing on and remembering people was more important than anything else.

Now the world seems a darker place because there is no one like her, no one to take her place. I praise Jesus she went as she wished. She said goodbye to us all, she told us she loved us and blessed us. Last night when I was sitting with her she told me “you can go now. I believe I’m ready to rest now.” She’s finally with Gramps and Timothy now. She’s with Jesus. I’m so happy for her.

I truly meant every word and was (am) so happy for her to no longer suffer the hip pain she had, to no longer have trouble hearing or seeing, to no longer be separated from my grandpa who died 25 years before, just pure joy for her.

But living on this planet is just hard without her.