Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Deny self, take up cross daily

I was taken aback by reading day 6's (VBS day) morning quiet time reflections. I need to read and reread this...

It’s quiet time and I think God has brought me to Peter’s confession of Jesus' identity in Luke 9:18-27. Verses 23-24 really jumped out at me, where Jesus tells him:

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.”

This has new meaning for me, now that I have grown accustomed to living with fewer comforts. My vices (gum, Diet Coke, chocolate/sweets) don't have the same hold: I don’t chew gum or have candy/desserts and have had 3 Coke Zeros total here. God satisfies me, as does service to others. This is saying nothing of the other things I thought were necessary, like daily hot showers/baths, A/C, privacy in dressing/bathroom, electricity, etc.

I wonder how I’m going to incorporate these new changes into my daily life upon returning. Will I serve others more? How? Will I take more time alone, praying and just listening to God’s voice? Will I be able to keep this up? Because I think something incredible has happened to me. I have grown spiritually, to the point where I no longer focus on the physical rather the spiritual. There is no way to maintain this growth without denying myself (in other words, discipline, self-control). I have come to realize that my greatest weakness is with boundaries – what I can or should control and what I can’t or shouldn’t. If I can get to the point of letting God change me, that is, worrying less about what those around me say and do, I’ll be able to better reflect God’s love and be what He wants me to be.

This will affect my entire life – as a teacher, with my family – more Hannah than anyone. All this trying to control everything as well as other people, which I can’t anyway, is futile – it provokes others, discourages them, creates resentment – not to mention it’s a waste of time. I even see the battle here, but I notice some changes and I know that my awareness of this problem is the first step. I will not find more peace in my life without trusting Him – letting go and losing my fear of letting Him take the reins.

2 comments:

Karen said...

Theresa, you did it again. Our preacher is about 2 1/2 months into a sermon series on Denying Self, so this is really good stuff. Goes right along with what we are hearing on Sundays.

Theresa Michelle said...

I love it when that happens! We serve the same God and I think He delights in giving us little signs and messages in different places so we know He means it and it makes us feel so touched, reached out to uniquely, because that is what is happening. We only need to open our eyes, and there He is!