It seemed like through my own personal reading, bible class and personal encounters in the past week, both boundaries and pain for a reason have popped up together. The lesson being that boundary-loving people welcome other people's boundaries - their right to say no and make their own decisions. Also, the idea of pain as pain, obviously, but a GOOD thing at times, meant to refine our character and produce growth. I seemed to be learning it well, and then it happened to me!
I pretty much thought the Mexico trip was off since only 4 were signed up, then my department head bent over backwards and took a loss to make it happen for the same price as originally promised if 10 kids went. I couldn't believe it and was so excited. All 4 kids said they'd go and I started planning for fundraising, getting trip packing lists and suggested reading materials ready. Then, the bomb dropped. 2 kids changed their mind, saying they didn't want to go because it "was too small and it wouldn't be any fun with so few kids." The trip is a homestay, so they'd only be rooming with 1 other kid anyway. Also, if I were their parent, I'd be like "too bad, you're going!" What an amazing learning experience and to not go just because there isn't a certain number of people going is ridiculous. I feel really bad for the 2 kids that REALLY want to go, as that ruins it for them. I had given up, then got hope back and was so looking forward to staying with the same family we stay with (haven't seen for almost 2 years) that has a daughter Hannah's age. I was so excited, then those 2 kids pulled the rug out from under me, for in my opinion, a very stupid reason. Why now? They were game before they knew the price might go up with a smaller group. I think they were planning on backing out, giving the price as an excuse, but when it stayed the same, they didn't have that to fall back on.
Anyway, I have to learn the hard way to accept their boundaries. It is their decision, and I can't force them to change their mind nor punish them for it. ALso, I wonder if through this God isn't setting some boundaries for myself that I am not. With National Board Certification, I am spazzed out working like crazy all year, which won't end until mid May. Then, the day after school gets out, I'm going to Kentucky to grade the AP exam. The Mexico trip would have been a few days after I returned from Kentucky. I'm going to keep praying for guidance, and I'm still angry (can you tell?), but not as much as before. I know this temporary pain is shaping my character, teaching me new things about boundaries that God knows I need.
P.S. I emailed this to myself this morning to post tonight (filters block it at school). Since I wrote this, one of the girls came just to make sure I knew she really wasn't going, as the first notice I got was by email. I surprisingly found myself being naturally pleasant and feeling no hostility whatsoever. Praying is changing my heart!
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