Tuesday, January 1, 2019

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"More social, less media"


I read a blog last week- I think it was Kelly Ferguson - that talked about focus. That is something I struggle with, as teachers aren’t really allowed to do that. We have all the balls in the air and if we focus on one, the rest fall down. Yet we do have to find a way to put some of the balls down and limit the distractions.

That blog got me thinking... and out of no where, into my head popped these four words:

“more social, less media”

Honestly, I wasn’t even sure what it meant, but it resonated. I told that inner voice - “nice word play, I’ll think about it.”

Well I’ve been thinking about it for a week and now it’s 2019 and the new year is here. I’ve prayed about it, meditated on it, slept on it, and it’s not going away. This is it- we have a winner!

So... what does it mean? Well, I’m a believer, so while I may make some plans, I know God is going to determine how they all turn out. I’ll find out as I go exactly where this takes me, but for now, here’s the vibe I’m getting:

1. Less time on social media
Obvious, right? Put limits on the time spent on Facebook, Twitter. I’m using “screentime” on my iphone. This is tough because this is a large part of the professional development I do, but I think it needs to be done. I honestly feel like I don’t know what’s happening if I’m off Facebook. It has become where I find out current events, what is up with my family and friends. However, there is also mindless scrolling and reading pointless articles. Worse than that - especially after being on Twitter - I find myself feeling “less than.” I find myself seeking affirmation, then feeling unvalued when I don’t get it and others seem to. Really, everyone’s tweeting but who is listening?

Intentional limits are necessary.

2. Less technology period
It just takes so much time to learn about every new innovation, which is my thing. I get caught up in the excitement and creating a fun lesson. I want everything to be perfect, but that isn’t possible in a balanced life. If I’m being honest, while I’ve connected with many using technology, it has negatively affected my relationships with those closest to me.

I’ve gained almost 20 lbs. since the summer. I leave for school at 6:30am and get home 5-7pm. Then, I will even work at home. This is not sustainable. Yes, I’m very proud of what I’ve accomplished this semester, but I need to be okay with less.

3. Face time over screen time
I've worked hard at building community in my classroom - kids interacting, putting the phones away, but how about my life? When I'm with my husband or daughter, I need to put my phone and computer away.

4. Listen more
There are people who process and take things in carefully before taking a step. I am not one of those people. When I'm listening or reading something, it usually sparks an idea, then another, then another and I'm gone - I'm mentally planning, if not actually doing something else. There is a time for that, but it also prevents me from being as good a listener as I should be.

Be still.

When I was in the Dominican Republic on mission trips, we had 30 minutes of quiet time. You read your bible, prayed, walked, only it had to be quiet. I miss that. I have it some days, but need it every day. Listen to His voice.

I also need to listen to those around me. To what they are actually saying, try to get rid of my filters and read them, where they are coming from.

5. Retreat, self care
It seems counterintuitive that stepping away from people and focusing on taking care of me is part of a goal of being more social.

"put on your oxygen mask first"
If I eat unhealthy food, in excess, don't exercise, don't sleep enough, don't have quiet time for spiritual renewal daily (to each of these, I must raise my hand: guilty!), I will NEVER be as enjoyable to be around, nor as kind, compassionate or patient, nor as genuinely concerned for them as I am called to be. I may feel annoyed, resentful, angry or just overwhelmed being around them because I'm functioning at reduced capacity.

I joined Weight Watchers and am working on adding physical activity almost daily. I will reinstate quiet time first thing in the morning.

****
This is where I'm feeling led today. I will resist my perfectionistic nature and walk intentionally forward with the mantra "more social, less media" and see where the Lord takes me.

How about you? What is your mantra for 2019?

Friday, March 25, 2016

Persecuted?

Them vs. me
There are 2 kinds of Christians, it seems. Those who are being persecuted and those who are not. Ironically, many times those who think they are, aren't and those who think they aren't, are. Even more ironically, they aren't even always different people. Sometimes we are one, sometimes the other.

Persecuted
Let me clarify that we are at war against the evil one. We must be on our guard against Satan's evil plans:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. - Ephesians 6:10-11

Furthermore, Jesus tells us that if we are of him, we will be persecuted just like him in Matthew 24:9 and John 15:20. Paul even tells Timothy in 2 Tim 3:12 that everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ will be persecuted.

You don't have to search very far to find verse after verse telling us that we as followers of Christ will suffer and face persecution.



What is persecution?
However, I think we need to be awfully careful about what we classify as "persecution." For example, am I persecuted when....
  • people take bible verses out of context or misquote the bible altogether?
  • Christmas break is called "winter break," we have school on Good Friday, people say "Happy Holidays," and there is no prayer at graduation? 
  • I'm not allowed to talk about my faith with students/at my job?
  • gay marriage is legalized?
  • a Christian adoption/family service agency loses government funding for teaching about Jesus or placing children in only traditional homes?
  • people say God is evil, dead or just doesn't care about us?
So are these things examples of persecuting Christians? I can tell you one thing for sure: if we Christians see others not living by the moral standards of the bible as an attack on us, we will respond in a very un-Christlike manner. We will come out swinging. We will build a case and prepare to either mentally beat others into submission to our viewpoint or to show them what fools they are for disagreeing with us. And then something really scary starts to happen: we think how sorry they'll be one day, when they realize how wrong they were, but it's too late, and we take comfort in that thought.

Who is our enemy?
It is equal parts hard and necessary to remember who our enemy is. Our enemy is not the jerk who cuts us off in traffic, it's not our boss who disrespects our boundaries and doesn't listen to us, and it's not even the identity thief or the terrorist. Our enemy is Satan. Also from Ephesians 6 is verse 12:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Satan is the one who blinds the eyes of unbelievers (2 Corinthians 4:4). They are his prey, just as we are. Let's view unbelievers as Jesus does. Paul tells us Jesus died for us all, not once we got our heart and beliefs right, but when we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). Peter reveals God's heart for us yet again in 2 Peter 3:9, telling us how God doesn't want anyone to perish.



If we see other humans as the enemy, how likely are we to share the gospel with them? Do our hearts break for the lost or are we glad those evil-doers won't be in heaven with us? Have we forgotten how lost we would be without Jesus' sacrifice?

It's easy to give the "Sunday school answer" when it's just the guy who cut us off in traffic. Not so much with someone who hurt us more permanently, like an unfaithful spouse, or even more "unforgivable" sins, like the murderer or terrorist.

However, those who live at odds with God are in Satan's clutches and need saving. We are no better, for we know that we all fall short without his saving grace (Romans 3:23).




Comfort zone
Christians becoming offended at unbelievers' rejection of the Christian lifestyle and values is indicative not of faithfulness, but complacency. We want others to think like we do, to accept our values. We want it to be easy to follow Christ and for us to get ahead in this world by doing so. We want Christians to be viewed as "the good guys" and Christianity to be the popular choice.

Is that so wrong? Isn't it natural to want others to believe what we do and think like we do? It's for their own good, right? Sure. But don't mistake this natural, human desire as God's will. Jesus calls us out of our comfort zone. We are never told to seek safety and security, rather we are told of the persecution we'll experience and how it will make us better. It is because of our physical weakness and acceptance of Jesus' death that we have eternal life (2 Corinthians 4:7-12 and 2 Corinthians 12:10). We shouldn't be surprised when we suffer for Christ because it is then that we are blessed (1 Peter 4:12-14), in fact, suffering shapes our character and gives us hope (Romans 5:3-5).

So are we persecuted or victorious? Yes!
We are surely persecuted, but no matter what we suffer or could afflict us, we more than overcome them because of the wonderful love of Christ, which no one or nothing can take away (Romans 8:35-39). What beautiful comfort, supreme joy! It seems when we are truly persecuted, we cling to His love and are better conduits of the Spirit, sharing His love with those around us. When we empty ourselves and are filled with him, that's when we are strong! But first we have to empty ourselves!



When I find myself getting annoyed and bemoaning unbelievers not acting like I think they ought to, I am falling into a trap. I am not here to make the world easier for myself by getting others to live right. I am here to share the GOOD NEWS, to shine in the darkness, to be salt and light.

I pray the Lord has convicted you as much as he has me about this. My ugly, unforgiving heart can't do this, that's for sure. I want those who hurt others to pay. I want this to be a Christian nation, and I don't want suffering or persecution, even though I know it will strengthen me and make me a better person. Let's together pray for God to take our defensive, complacent hearts and fill them with His Spirit, ready to share with the lost!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

You want to know what I was thinking? The answer probably won't surprise you...

This week an overly candid student  was telling me how his dad constantly bemoans why anyone would become a teacher. "No one would ever CHOOSE to be a teacher! No one would want to get up evey day and have to deal with a bunch of lazy kids who don't care." 

Instead of feeling angry or annoyed, it made me feel sad for him. I don't think even I realized what was about to be unleashed. I began:

Did you know that after quitting my job as a bilingual rep at Mutual of Omaha, going back to school, then starting my teaching career it was years before I caught up to my previous salary? I could interpret or translate and make much more money and work far less. In fact, looking back at last week, I put in close to 70 hours and neither my boss nor my students noticed. I wish I could say that was atypical. 

Yet I wouldn't have it any other way. My talent is Spanish and I love people- actually, I love teens! Seriously! They have the nerve to believe they can change the world, that things don't have to be the way they always have been. Their idealism is something hard to find in adults. They get excited about making a difference- about defending the weak, feeding the hungry, standing up for what they believe. Their tolerance for hypocrisy is zero. They want to know why, they crave meaning and to have a purpose. Me too. 

You spend the majority of your day all your life at your job. For what? Just to stay alive, maybe get a few toys. What else could I (personally) do that would be more fulfilling? I share my passion for the Spanish language and cultures daily, I equip kids and get them outside their comfort zones, open up new perspectives to them. 

Sometimes it falls on less than fertile ground. But you know what? Sometimes "those" kids are my favorite because they're the ones who change the most. They thought Spanish was boring, not for them, they'd never use it- and then they come back and tell me thank you, that I had planted a seed. Sometimes the ones who were the least motivated end up pursuing Spanish later on, and I remember that when I'm teaching them now. 

Teaching is exhausting, frustrating at times, and often misunderstood but at the end of the day, I know there is nothing I would do instead. I invest not in material things, but in the next generation.


His response, "Wow! I wish I would have recorded that so I could play it for my dad!" Me too, kid. Me too.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

But how do I REALLY know God exists?

A few weeks ago I found myself defending God's existence a lot, sharing my faith with those in doubt - answering questions like, "how do you know God even exists?," "What if it's all a lie?" "You'll never really know which of us is right until we die anyway." Well, most of them were questions.

I testified of my Heavenly Father who cares personally for me, who has on a great number of occasions unmistakably made His presence known to me. I can't just point to one incident, there have been so many - He changed my mind about something, put a voice in my head, made things fall into place, acted or spoke through another person, created a natural phenomenon, gave me a dream or just filled my spirit or changed my heart. I believe in the Bible and that its consistency and accuracy are undeniable to the one who comes to seriously examine it with an open mind and heart. I always point to the scriptures; they contain my story too. They are how I know these experiences are from God.

I've known God my whole life. I grew up knowing He was there and cared for me. I've prayed to Him and known He was always watching me. Throughout life, I have continued to walk with Him.

Yet that night as I lie in my bed, a small doubt crept in my heart. How DO I know He's real, that He really cares for me? 




Even at the time, I was uncomfortable admitting doubt. I guess it's like how we need to hear "I love you" from those we care for most more than just once. It feels good to hear it, it's reassuring, it fills us.

I prayed, "Lord, would you give me a sign?" I was just feeling empty, wanting to really know He was there and loved me. I added, "I don't need it, I know You're there, but it would be nice."

I felt a little more peaceful and remained awake, but not really thinking about it anymore. Then I realized there was a hand on my head, slightly caressing my hair, but mostly just warm and gently resting there. I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling grateful for the comfort of the loving touch. The hand lifted and I rolled over, expecting to see Jeff's outstretched arm, but there were his feet! His arms were above his head under his pillow as he lie there asleep.

I should mention our ceiling fan is above the foot of the bed and I'm always hot, so I usually sleep with my head at that end and Jeff's feet get hot, so he is the opposite.

As the realization kicked in that God Himself had given me this sweet gesture of His love, I was overcome with joy and gratitude. Did I need that? I mean, would I have honestly doubted Him or His love for me? Of course not, but that is the kind of Heavenly Father I have. As though giving His Son for my eternal salvation weren't enough, He showers love down on this imperfect, weak child of His, never accusing but just loving me. I can't comprehend it, but I am grateful.



I dare you to do the same. I don't mean put Him to the test like a magic trick, but just really trust Him, love Him, reach out to Him. Don't be surprised that He's there. Don't be shocked when He fills your life with His presence or does something precious just to show you He loves you. Just you wait and see how beautiful life can be with the One who loves you deeply and perfectly!

"Taste and see that the Lord is good, 
blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him."
                                                -Psalm 34:8

Monday, July 13, 2015

Days 8-9: Heading home

Tuesday, June 16- Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Devo
Last night we were too busy packing and didn't have time to have a devotional, so we had that this morning instead of quiet time. We have sung Someday so many times in an attempt to "get it right." I love it each time and am musically dense enough to think it sounds just perfect every single time. I kept forgetting to have my camera ready because I wanted to record it to have forever, but I finally remembered! It's a little awkward being recorded during devo or worship, but I couldn't help it. Also that big pole in the way :\

Watch it here. (sorry, the sound sort of cuts out at the end)

We would miss so many things...
the hammocks
the walk to the Children's Home
...but mostly we would miss the people...
Carlos (riding on the back of the Daihatsu)
the teens

the kids at the Children's Home



We would miss all the staff  at Manna- the missionaries, the interns, Carmen and her daughter (the cooks), Darlin the driver, Jorge the night watchman.

We would even miss Pequeñito the dog
One last photo in front of the Daihatsu
It is hard to say goodbye, but we must.

Dani waved goodbye until we were out of sight. I'll just say it again: it was hard to say goodbye.
We had about an hour to shop in Cabarete, where we got a few trinkets and had some amazing pizza near the beach. There was free wi-fi, so many charged their phones and reconnected with the outside world a bit. Then, we said our final goodbyes to the interns and headed to the airport.

At the airport in Puerto Plata we were again reminded of what a small world it is. I noticed a man wearing an Iowa Hawkeyes shirt in front of us at the ticket counter! Then a while later (with a group of 23, it takes a while to check the baggage and check in with passports), someone noticed a wallet. I opened it and saw it was a man from Iowa. I left the wallet there in case he came back to look for it and ran to look for him. There were tons of people, but everyone had to fill out paperwork before going through security and I found him at one of the tables! Had I not noticed his shirt, I never would have found him. And his ID, credit cards, everything were in it!

Our group passed through security uneventfully and after buying a huge bottle of water, we boarded our plane. Once we were in Miami, it was different going through customs. We had to use a machine that took a picture of us and printed out the horrid thing for us to take somewhere else. It was supposed to streamline things, but it really was more work on everyone's part. Despite a little drama with the Derengowskis getting separated (you're supposed to go through customs as a family), everyone made it through okay.
I wouldn't want to run into this person in a dark alley! Oh wait, it's me... I'm not exaggerating when I say I gasped and jumped back when it popped up on the screen after taking it. Believe it or not, on the screen it was EVEN SCARIER.
We all did our own thing for dinner and the Whitbecks, Goldie, Morgan and ReNay went to Chili's. It was close to the hotel (inside the airport), the perfect atmosphere, the service was great, and the food was amazing! I'm so glad we got to end our trip with this bunch- what a riot!
Goldie shared this ridiculousness with all of us - wow!
Both groups got in Omaha about the same time and it was good to see everyone's families and the emotional reunions. We would head home and have our own with Hannah ASAP! :)



Saturday, July 11, 2015

Day 7: Prayer mountain, beach day

Monday, June 15, 2015
Quiet Time
I read John 9 today. It was just too big of a coincidence, I couldn't wait! See my previous entry.

Prayer Mountain
I was really looking forward to this because it was such a moving experience last time. It was different this year in that there wasn't as much structure for us. Some groups prayed aloud, some silently, some split up and prayed individually afterwards. My group sat in a circle and prayed popcorn style. It's really hard to put to words how much this experience meant to me, to each of us. Even now I can't put it into words. We experienced so much in the last week and the power of prayer, especially corporate prayer, is so intense.

Southwest mission team on Prayer Mountain
Getting instructions, getting ready to pray
team D praying (ok, we were posing there!)
...and a selfie of the photographer!
Beach Day

We had lunch at el Centro Cristiano in Rio San Juan, which was awesome because my sunglasses were still there! Perfect for beach day! We had sandwiches and Norm shared some more thoughts with us about our circle of influence. Soon it was time to head to Playa Grande!

El Centro Cristiano Manna in Rio San Juan
Not everyone had gotten to see Cafe 25 next door or this room where I taught during VBS
Soon we would have chairs set up here for lunch!
Right when we got to the beach, we had a lovely surprise! Spencer was ready to be baptized! We were all very excited about it and his dad Brent was even there to do the job. He shared some thoughts and Spencer gave his confession before we went to the water so we could all hear, then we all headed to the ocean! What a great way to start!

Video of Spencer's confession of faith
Video of Spencer's baptism
Video of hugs afterwards




We all enjoyed the lovely cool water and could hardly stand to get out. Despite loading on the sunblock and being in the water the whole time, I even got burnt on my legs! Caleb rented a boogie board and was generous enough to let anyone else who wanted to try it give it a shot (No, I didn't!). Lauren had her go pro and got some fun underwater shots. A number of the girls got some braids on the beach - $1 a braid, not bad!






When it was almost time to go, we had another new brother and sister in Christ! Garrett and Trisha came forth to be baptized! Jim baptized both of them and we were all filled with joy for them both.

Video of Garrett and Trisha's confession of faith and baptism
Video of Trisha's baptism and afterwards from a different angle (Jeff was gone and had the camera so I only got the tail end on video!



We brought shampoo and reveled in the showers that had both hot water and tons of pressure. Antics were a plenty. Being deprived of water pressure for a week will do that to a girl - 4 of us even got in at once!


After dinner and chores were done, we spent the rest of the night packing. All in all, it was a great day!