Deny self, take up cross daily

I was taken aback by reading day 6's (VBS day) morning quiet time reflections. I need to read and reread this...

It’s quiet time and I think God has brought me to Peter’s confession of Jesus' identity in Luke 9:18-27. Verses 23-24 really jumped out at me, where Jesus tells him:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.”

This has new meaning for me, now that I have grown accustomed to living with fewer comforts. My vices (gum, Diet Coke, chocolate/sweets) don't have the same hold: I don’t chew gum or have candy/desserts and have had 3 Coke Zeros total here. God satisfies me, as does service to others. This is saying nothing of the other things I thought were necessary, like daily hot showers/baths, A/C, privacy in dressing/bathroom, electricity, etc.

I wonder how I’m going to incorporate these new changes into my daily life upon returning. Will I serve others more? How? Will I take more time alone, praying and just listening to God’s voice? Will I be able to keep this up? Because I think something incredible has happened to me. I have grown spiritually, to the point where I no longer focus on the physical rather the spiritual. There is no way to maintain this growth without denying myself (in other words, discipline, self-control). I have come to realize that my greatest weakness is with boundaries – what I can or should control and what I can’t or shouldn’t. If I can get to the point of letting God change me, that is, worrying less about what those around me say and do, I’ll be able to better reflect God’s love and be what He wants me to be.

This will affect my entire life – as a teacher, with my family – more Hannah than anyone. All this trying to control everything as well as other people, which I can’t anyway, is futile – it provokes others, discourages them, creates resentment – not to mention it’s a waste of time. I even see the battle here, but I notice some changes and I know that my awareness of this problem is the first step. I will not find more peace in my life without trusting Him – letting go and losing my fear of letting Him take the reins.

DR: Day 5 -Work day!

Today is Work Day. We are going to either paint or rebuild the bridge at the bottom of the hill over the river. We will split into two groups, half doing one, half the other.

It’s now 4pm and here we are on the pad as it rains buckets. Troy has had many opportunities to use his favorite Spanish phrase- “está lloviendo gatos y perros” (it’s raining cats and dogs), which he shouts proudly at the first drop of rain J Honestly, I don’t know if it’s possible to rain harder than it is right now. It’s a bit chilly – I’m glad of that! We’re even cold! But we’re relishing it J

I’m sorry for writing just a tad here and there, but I’m finally in bed – I think everyone was so tired after our work day – it’s only 10:30. Well, today we all went to the river to get rocks to reinforce the bridge.

We picked them out and passed them in the form of an assembly line to people on the Daihatsu until we had about a ton of rocks, no exaggeration. Then, they put wire netting where the road was sinking and in assembly line format passed the rocks to be tossed into the netting, which they later filled with concrete. That’s apparently how it’s done! I must note that Garrett found a rock shaped like Nebraska. It’s like a part of Nebraska is now part of the bridge, like we continue to support our friends in the DR. It was lunch time for lunch before we knew it. The job was so easy with the help of so many. Even the neighbors came and helped and it was they who stayed to help Steven with the cement as we went to lunch.

I like how we all worked together instead of some of us painting and others helping with the bridge. We all felt like such a “community.”

As we headed back to Manna, Harrison (Cory and Laura Beth’s 4 year old son) was tired and wanted a piggy back ride, and I did it with great pleasure. I practically ran and passed almost everyone (uphill!), but seeing that, Jeff had to run past and Jeremy too, carrying the cooler full of wáter. So macho, lol. Seriously though, they are beasts- especially Jeff, who eats nails for breakfast.

 

Lunch was so good – rice, crispy plaintains and Dominican chicken. They said they killed the chicken today – he gave his life for a good cause, in my opinion. Today it was my group’s turn to do the dishes, which meant we had to do the dishes twice- after lunch and dinner. No complaints from us – we had two fantastic meals out of the deal (tacos for dinner), and when everyone works together, it’s fun.

 

(I realize the picture above is not my group, but I didn't have a picture of us doing dishes!) Painting in the afternoon was fun. Troy and I did the edges and Meredith and Morgan the walls and ceiling of the bathrooms.

We sang together and it was gorgeous – the acoustics of the bathroom helped me and Troy’s voice is so deep and beautiful, I could listen to it all day.

After we were done, Keelia, Larissa and I washed the paint brushes, rollers and pans. It had rained while we were painting, but not when we were washing with a limited water supply ha ha! At least a bunch of the girls were quick thinkers and showered in the rain, even shampooing their hair!

 

After a very necessary shower, which of course didn’t get all the paint off, we rehearsed the skit for tomorrow’s VBS. I forgot to mention – most of the teens went to the children’s home to play with the kids again – something they do every day. They have such tender hearts, they inspire me. Then for our devo, we were so proud of our newly painted school that we brought chairs up there. It was an unforgettable experience – the acoustics, the shadows, everyone praising the Lord.

After our devo, we presented our skit to the missionaries and interns. At the advice of Jarisa and Chad, we changed “cállate, idiota” (shut up, stupid) to “¿eres tonta?” (are you a moron?) because it was a bit too strong. Besides that, well, and the fact the kids needed to speak louder, they liked it.

I am fighting hard against my nature – to worry, obsess, trying to control everything. It is what it is, I have to let go. I am so proud of the teens and know they will do well. What’s more, they are sooo good with kids; that’s really the most important thing. I know that Jesus is going to use them tomorrow and I hope He uses me too and that my “type A” doesn’t kick in lol! Seriously, I’m praying about it.

DR: Day 4 (part 2) - the turning point

Yesterday I left off at the hospital. We then headed to San Felipe Fort, or as they say “the Fort.” We had lunch outside underneath the trees on a plastic tarp. Ivette carved my name on a tree – what a sweet girl. Estefany was also precious. We chatted a lot and she kept telling me how wonderful it was to have me as her friend and we even held hands as we walked. Someone asked her how old she was and she said 13. What? I couldn’t believe it, I thought she was much older. I bought her a pop and insisted on eating with her. I don’t know why, but the Dominicans always eat after the gringos, but I am pretty stubborn and swore I wouldn’t eat until she did. We ate with a view of the ocean and a nice breeze on the hill, shaded by the trees. What a lovely lunch!

So for the first time, we all did the "tourist thing" and took a tour of the fort. I translated a few things that were written on the walls for our group. They gave us headphones which gave us a tour in English. It was pretty neat. We got a group picture in front of the wall with the ocean in the background, when the wind took Renay’s hat! She was going to write it off, but when I looked over the wall, I thought I could get it with someone to hold my hand. With the help of Phillip, I was able to climb down and back up. There were 2 protrusions from the wall (the lowest being about up to my hips). I may have been able to do it without holding onto Phillip’s hand, but I definitely would be very susceptible to a fall, and a dangerous one at that. Phillip braced himself and really deserves as much credit as anyone for the hat rescue. All that climbing in Colorado came in a bit handy too!
 

Next we went to the dump. When we got there, we saw the multitude of children come running down the hill. It really was overwhelming emotionally to see.

Then came the women and men. We took out volleyballs, soccer balls and Frisbees and began to play with the kids. The women chatted in the shade provided by the Daihatsu. The smallest children jumped into our arms. When there were no more arms to jump into, some of the kids sat together in a circle. I spent most of my time chatting with the moms. The boys and some girls played volleyball and Frisbee with the kids too.

Troy particularly spent a good deal of time lifting kids up onto the truck that was for hauling trash, to play, then helping them down when they were done. The kids LOVE Troy! The great love and total trust the kids had for us really made an impression on me, on all of us. We pretty much gave them anything we had, bracelets, gum, etc. I met a 15 year old girl named Jamie Michelle.  Seriously, it was so strange to meet someone with the same first and middle name as my sister. Moved, I gave her my shoes before we left.

After playing a while, they began to line the children up behind the truck. It was a constant battle to get them to peacefully and orderly form lines. The children went first and we gave them a cup of punch, a PBJ and a small bag we prepared the night before (soap, toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo, tootsie rolls, the Joseph book from VBS and 3-4 crayons). We got through all the kids, but after barely getting through any of the women, some got so out of hand that we had to leave. We still had several of the bags left (30-40?). Kailey and Keelia cried and were totally distraught, I cried too, but quietly and no one noticed. We were all very quiet for a while. When we stopped for our snack on the way back, I stayed in the Daihatsu (no shoes) and chatted with Jeff, discussing whether it was a good thing we’re doing going to the dump. Are we helping or hurting them? Are we inspiring fights by coming with a limited amount of bags/snacks? How could we know how many will come? We concluded that we were doing our best and to continue to pray for God’s guidance and forgiveness if need be, as our intentions are to glorify Him and share His love.
 

As I noted before, we were all silent on the trip home, but soon we began to sing. We sang songs of comfort and joy at first, then as the trip went on, it just got silly. We moved from slower Spanish and English songs like En momentos así, 10,000 reasons, to pop songs like Lean on Me, All-Star, then (not kidding) Feliz Navidad.

There was no water to shower, so we played volleyball. For dinner, Jeff grilled chicken and Carmen made mashed potatoes and green beans. I ate like a 17 year old boy! I think Jeff’s chicken is as good as my dad’s, but don’t tell him that! Someone told me that Jeff’s dad’s chicken is even better – wow! After chores, there was enough water, so I showered and even washed my hair – only to go play volleyball afterwards lol. I never can resist it.

Franklin and I were talking and he was agonizing a bit about preparing the devo for that night. I shared a little about what the Holy Spirit showed me this morning and the beatitudes in Luke. At the devo, Franklin read the beatitudes and I think it touched us all deeply. I don’t say this to point out he got the idea from me – on the contrary! – I say it to give credit to the Spirit who showed us both the right words to console us and focus us on Him. Kylie declared that she had decided to become a missionary. I was so moved that I started to cry and I think that some others did too.

Yesterday was so different from today. I do NOT want to leave. God uses us so much and there are so many who need Him. As Keely said, they say the people are Catholic and believe in God, in Jesus, but not so. The youth especially seem to lack faith and hope. My initial reaction was doubt, thinking perhaps culturally they may just be expressing their faith differently, but I’m more convinced that isn’t the case, that a great number of people feel abandoned, or like church is for someone else.

That being said, in general, people here seem happy and especially generous with food when you are a guest in their home. However, they don’t eat with you – not with guests in general. Last night after sharing a jar of Nutella that I brought and playing Egyptian Rat Killer, I sat and chatted with Washy. We talked about poverty in both countries, then I asked him why Dominicans don’t eat with gringos. He laughed at my brazenness and said he didn’t know, it like embarrasses them. I gathered it was a matter of politeness. Before turning into complete mosquito fodder, I went to bed at midnight (I’m writing this “tomorrow”). I should note that when I don’t come in until late, Meredith comes looking for me to make sure I’m ok. She is a good friend!

DR: Day 4 (part 1) HS takeover

It’s quiet time and I was looking for the Lord’s Prayer – Luke 11:2-4:

"Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation."

Hmm, not bad, but “by accident” I opened to Luke 6:20-26, the beatitudes:

"Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.
Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.

Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how your ancestors treated the prophets."

I’m crying as I read and write these words and I know that God is speaking to me, that the Holy Spirit has filled me. There are a ton of bugs flying around me but I hardly see them, I never thought that possible. I’ve turned into someone else. My thought is, Theresa, get all your crying done now, or save it for afterwards, but never in the presence of this blessed people, blessed by God. In heaven, He has waiting for them riches that they have never imagined. Upon reading these blessings, I just had a revelation that when we get to heaven there will be nothing different awaiting us, both the rich and the poor, we all will experience the same thing if we are in Christ Jesus. We will all be overwhelmed by a great love and consolation that we have never experienced nor ever expected. The difference will be the contrast in what our previous experience was. If we have never felt comfort or being satisfied, complete and total comfort and joy will be all the greater. Of course, if we don’t have Jesus, there is no reward because He is everything.

I see it as something so beautiful that my favorite song nowadays has been “Strangely Dim” by Francesca Batistelli because I wanted it to be true for me then, but now it is. I didn’t realize I was going to have to be deprived so much emotionally and physically to get there. He had to break my hard heart in order to fill me.

Strangely Dim
by Francesca Batistelli

I've had all these plans piled up sky high
A thousand dreams on hold
And I don't know why,
I got a front row seat
To the longest wait
And I just can't see
Past the things I pray
Today

But when I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

Today was so … There is just no word to describe it. Reading what I wrote earlier today and reflecting about today, it is so apparent the Spirit that filled me this morning continued to be with me all day and truly gave me the will and equipped me to serve people today, even though it seemed I was the one who was served by them. I don’t remember ever having such a supernatural, such a spiritual experience in some time.

We went to the hospital and even though it was very different from U.S. hospitals with the lack of equipment, many things are the same: people are sick, uncomfortable, far – many times very far – from their home, and they appreciate visits. As we entered the children’s ward, everyone rushed to the smaller children, past an older boy just to the right of the entrance. So, I approached him and introduced myself. He was Robinson, a 15 year old boy who wants to play baseball in the Major Leagues. His favorite school subject was science. After chatting for a while, I asked him if he knew Jesus. He seemed a little taken off guard and said yes, I think so. I think that was the first time I’ve ever just come out and asked someone that question before. Then, his mom showed me a slip of paper the doctor had just given her with a diagnosis on it, that said influenza A, H1N1. I told her it was the swine flu, but she didn’t know what that was either. I told her my daughter had the same thing a few years ago and that she’s fine now, all she needed was rest. That consoled her a little bit. I think God put me there to give her a bit of hope and peace. I asked Robinson if he would like me to pray and he said sure. The three of us joined hands and I led us in prayer in Spanish. When we finished, it was time to head to the next room.

I am not used to approaching strangers and talking to them about Jesus, but I did just that several times this morning and I also hugged and kissed many women and children. Beforehand they told us not to be afraid to approach and even touch people in the hospital and at the dump, as mission groups before have been afraid, stood back and even broke out their germ-ex. The kids (and adults) of our group freely showed love to the people, certainly not making them feel like they were somehow“untouchable.” I would always ask them first “may I hug you?” and the look in their eyes warmed my heart as they told me yes. We also sang a few songs and a few of the patients and family sang along. How this transformed these dark and sad rooms! Before leaving each room, someone would lead the group in prayer. The students from Manna – Ivette and Estefany- took their turn and in spite of being shy, they prayed sincerely and fearlessly. Honestly, when the time came to leave, I was disappointed. God filled me with His Spirit and in spite of being way outside of my comfort zone, it seemed like the most natural thing.

Speaking of natural, Troy just impressed me so much. To watch him, you’d think he a) knew the person he was talking to for a long time and b) spoke Spanish. He had a way of really connecting with the patients and comforting them despite any language barrier. He gathered information about them and would pray with them. It was such a beautiful thing to watch him just love them.

This day was such a special, full day. I have never felt so emptied, incapable of a task, prayed and been so empowered by the Holy Spirit before. Tune in tomorrow to see what happened next- at the fort and the dump!

Pursued

I'm taking a small break from my mission trip journal because one blog entry per day is enough and I had to share.

Have you ever been pursued before? How so? Did the person show up in all of the places you normally go, looking for you? Did he call you on the phone? Text you? Email you? Come to your house? Send you gifts? Hide around the corner and wait for you? However, he did it, I assure you he is not as persistent as God when He is pursuing your heart.

This morning I didn't have time for quiet time. The alarm went off extra early and I went running with my mom, then to 2-hour meeting for work (preparing for Fall Workshop). However, I believe that God was determined to quiet my heart and spend some quality time with His child today.

I just burned a CD for my van with some of my favorite Christian songs. I popped it in and my heart was just so pierced by the songs I heard - I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin and Your Grace is Enough by Matt Maher. Do you ever feel like you're just worshiping God as you sing along with a song and just get lost in it? That's what those 2 songs were like for me today. In fact, as "Your Grace is Enough" finished, I shut my music off, I didn't want to hear anything else. Anyway, I had arrived to Zorinsky where my mom and aunt and I were planning on running.

A minute or two later, my mom got there, and anyone who knows her knows she never puts her running shoes on until she gets to the lake, so she had me come get in her car while she did so. Guess what song was on K-LOVE? Yup, "Your Grace is Enough," no joke. It's a pretty old song, too, so that was pretty amazing to me. It was a nice way to start off my run.

Then, as I was leaving the lake and heading to my meeting, I continued to listen to my burned CD, and I was also really moved by the song "Not for a Moment," by Meredith Andrews. I have always loved that song, so beautiful and comforting. To my dismay, the CD didn't burn properly and cut out about 30 seconds before the end. I thought, oh well, I got to hear most of it, it's okay. So I switched on K-LOVE and guess what song was on? You probably don't even believe me, but it's true! "Not for a Moment." Then, I headed to the bank, and then the store and guess what song they played? I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin.

Finally, as I was pulling into my neighborhood, my other favorite Matt Maher song came on, "Lord, I Need You". I could barely sing along, I was so moved, but I just sat in my car in the garage with my hands held open to Him.

Please, Lord, keep pursuing me! Lord, You know music is the way to my heart and I get so distracted by this world, making myself as busy as possible. May I never forget to seek Your face, to thirst for You and fill myself up only with You.

What does it take to get your attention? Have you been pursued lately? Are you sure? Now that reminds me of another Matt Maher song:

If you're scared that you don't matter,
If you're lost and need to be found,
If you're looking for a savior,
All you gotta do is turn around.

Turn around.

DR: Day 3 - Community day, grumpy me

It’s 5am and it’s useless to continue pretending to sleep. I don’t know if it’s because of the humidity, my stomach or the uncomfortable bed (the mattress and the fact I’m too tall for it), but the result is the same. I haven’t slept more than 1 hour in a row and I’ve basically been waiting for it to be time to get up. I thank God for the rain that makes noise on the tin roof, that drowns out the occasional snore and the roosters’ crowing, which are all over the place, and that allows one to use the bathroom without waking everyone else up. I think the rain lowers the temperature a bit too. I also give thanks for my little fan and I pray that the batteries last. I give thanks for my brothers and sisters here who don’t complain about the conditions and whose love for Christ has brought them all the way here. I give thanks for what I have at home, mostly for my family and for all Jeff does (even washes dishes! J) and all the luxury of “privacy”. But most of all, I give thanks for Jesus who loved us so much – who loves me so much in spite of being so spoiled – and gives us such a strong bond, true family, in such distant and different places such as this. As I look back at this, it almost makes me laugh to see how I'm so obviously counting my blessings instead of focusing on what I'm really thinking and feeling. I'm not even sure I realized I was doing it at the time. I suppose it's a good habit to be in though!

Today is Sierrah’s birthday. I know it will be one she’ll never forget. I hope she can truly celebrate it, not by focusing on herself, rather on the work here. I bought her some “birthday edition” Oreos se we could all celebrate with her. I should have brought more – there weren’t enough even for one per person. Reflecting about it now, I see that even with all the chores and work, Sierrah didn’t expect any special treatment. She came to serve, not be served, even on her special day. She has the heart of a servant and I admire her so much.

 Last night I showed Jarisa the list of Dominican slang phrases that I printed from the internet and she confirmed several of them. That is, there weren’t any specifically that she disagreed with, but she laughed and affirmed several, such as ¿ta nítido?, ¿cómo tú tá?, ¿qué lo qué?, bacano, ta to, and I don’t remember what else. Here they say “chancletas” for flip-flops and they don’t say “maceta”, rather “florero” or “jarrón” for flower pot. Also, a swing is “columpio” but also “hamaca”.

By the way, they have us divided into 4 groups and in my group, C, are Meredith, Lauren, Logan, Jeremy and Zach. I already see in this group people who desire to serve and with tender hearts. In this way, it will be easy to focus more on concentrating myself instead of being such a chaperone; that is, I can serve the people here without having to babysit the kids under my charge. Looking back, it was hard to remember who were the chaperones and who were the kids. Jeremy remarked that we were the best group he’d ever had, that we worked the hardest without any direction necessary.

When I woke up this morning I realized that I had lost the cross from my necklace. I found it in my bed with my flashlight and was able to fix it with a small amount of effort, but I fear that it might happen again, so I’m not going to wear it anymore here. Jesus is in my heart so it’s not necessary to wear Him around my neck, right?

We are in quiet time, which is a little difficult for me to enjoy, since there is no place where the bugs will leave me alone. I have changed location 3 times, but it doesn’t matter. I read today the first 6 chapters of Romans (well, I read chapter 1 yesterday) and decided that it would be better to reflect a bit instead of reading more. What stood out to me was the part about grace. We are children of God, not by blood, nor our own will, rather His. We will not ever be able to deserve nor earn God’s favor. Believing this is one thing and accepting that it is not only for you but for others whose sins are “uglier than yours” is another. What does matter is faith, not any good “works” that we do. One must obey, of course, but faith is what justifies us, or rather, He justifies us by means of faith.

The morning started out with another flat tire, this time on the Daihatsu itself, which delayed Community Day a bit. We took advantage of the opportunity to visit the children’s home, more or less a block from here. The kids were crazy about playing with the teens and one of them who was about 4 years old, Gibbons, jumped into Logan's arms. It was precious! Some of them were shy but the grand majority seemed to trust us almost immediately.

After maybe an hour, we went to Río San Juan where our group ate at one of the Manna student's houses. His mother and little brother (who lives with his father, at his parents’ house) were there too. His mother is pregnant with twins – a boy and a girl, due in November. She is not at all thrilled about having one more child much less two, since she does not have the means to care for them. They served us moro, which here means rice with pigeon peas. It was really good, and was served with delicious chicken too.

It seemed like we spent quite a while there, probably just because I was sweating profusely and there was no breeze. At some point we all had to use the restroom, which was pretty primitive and it was a good thing I brought kleenex and germ-ex. Afterwards, we went for ice-cream at Bon. I couldn’t decide which flavor to order, so I asked the lady what the best one was and her response was “ron pasa” (rum raisin). That’s also what Jeremy said before. They were all right! It was so yummy! The owner came out to greet us and was so kind. She hugged and kissed me and even took a picture with me, taking off her hair net.

It turns out she is a retired teacher! Everyone here opens their homes and hearts to us, it’s just incredible. Then, Jeremy and I walked to a few stores and then the Gri Gri lagoon. It felt so good to dip my feet in, so cool and refreshing. I felt so sweaty, more disgusting than ever and I didn’t want to leave. Poor Lauren cut her foot and there was blood everywhere – and someone stole her flip-flops, or as she said involuntarily donated them.

Then, we went to the Manna Community Center for the “Princesas y pescadores” program for teens. They play games and connect with them, like mentors. Our teens behaved so normally, sweating a ton but having fun with the Dominican teens. It goes without saying that I was miserable and it was tough for me to think of anything except a cold shower. On the way back, we sang to pass the time.

When we finally got back, the teens went to the children’s home. I, the utmost in selfishness, drained, sweaty, almost in tears, and if I'm being honest, just wanted to go home. I was thinking maybe I'm just not cut out for this. Perhaps I'm just too shallow of a person that I can't get past the little things like bugs, sweat and discomfort, filth, no privacy, like everyone else seems to. I finally showered and it was the most luxurious I have had, even though it was cold water and the smallest amount I could. God renewed my spirit too, and I came out to the pad to journal.

However, as I sat down near Jim, he struck up a conversation, which quite frankly I always prefer. Then, we played a bit of volleyball and then had chili dogs for dinner, which really hit the spot. After dinner, it was our turn to clean the bathroom, then it was time for devotional.

At devo, we sang and talked about our experiences today. I shared how impressed I was with these teens, who love so mucn and offered themselves so freely to service when I had nothing left. I just felt in such awe of how they were reflecting God's love when I was failing so miserably at it. I even started to cry (something I never do!). The kids have such tender hearts. Ethan was the first of the teens to share, then Miranda, neither of them are the first 2 I would think of for opening up to the group. I am so proud of them, truly.

Tomorrow is going to be difficult emotionally and physically. We are going to Puerto Plata – first to the hospital, then lunch and then the dump. After the devotional tonight, we prepared 150 bags to distribute (with soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpaste, granola bars and for the kids: Joseph books, crayons and fruit snacks). We are going to pray with the people at the hospital. I wanted to be completely done journaling tonight because I want all of quiet time tomorrow to think about what I’ll say. I don't know, I just feel a heaviness, a sort of dread about it. I'm a little scared about all the strong emotions I might feel tomorrow and want to be available for God to use me to minister to these, likely the neediest we've yet met. I'm just praying and looking to God to provide the words of comfort and to mold my heart and will.

DR: Day 2 - arrival, taking it all in

There isn’t much time to reflect here – you waste time connecting with people if you do. I will try to be brief – on the flight (Miami-Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic) I sat between Jim and Troy.

Jim and I talked a lot about the Holy Spirit and how God still speaks today, which is a bit controversial in the Churches of Christ. Ironically (or more like "appropriately"), as I read my journals back, I so confidently speak of the work of the Holy Spirit in me. There was no doubt in my mind as to whether God was speaking to me or working through me - I wasn't sitting and debating about it, but doing His work and living in His presence. I think it passes Curt DeBoer's test - is what I was doing in keeping with the scriptures? Was it in keeping with what we know of God's character? Who gets the glory? What I knew in my heart was supported by this line of questioning.

Once we disembarked, we were greeted by a band that played beautiful local music (for tips). Then, they stopped playing when we got in line for immigration and we were headed for the luggage claim, so I put on some Juan Luis Guerra on my cell phone for us to enjoy and keep our spirits up. We flew through immigration and customs – it was nothing at all! Upon leaving the airport and breathing the rich, humid air, I don’t know – I was suddenly so happy I felt like crying. I had finally arrived, in spite of everything.

We saw and greeted the other half of our group and got on a type of truck (Daihatsu) with two benches and nothing more than a piece of plastic above us. We met Jeff and Keely, the missionaries.

 They have very strong, charming Southern accents. They put our suitcases in a trailer that the Daihatsu pulled. They offered us a cold drink, telling us it would be the last one, that we would have to buy them after that. They explained a bunch of other things that I don’t remember, I was just trying to absorb and understand what was going on around me in this new country.

Hours went by it seemed until we got a flat tire on trailer. We didn’t waste much time though; we left the trailer off the side of the road and loaded all the luggage onto the Daihatsu, sitting on top of and/or stepping on it. Onward we went. There were many trees, small towns and sometimes people and animals. We sang “tengo gozo, gozo” and “en momentos así”. I didn’t know that would be characteristic of our whole trip, that we never lost an opportunity to sing and praise God, as much to lift our spirits and those around us as to give glory to God.

I saw mango trees – so cool! or rather “bacano”! There is obviously a lot of poverty, but one of the things that really stands out to me (different from Mexico- everything from mountains to desert to beach to forests) is the lushness of it all, and we never forgot that the ocean was not far from us. The missionaries and interns at Manna are so young and kind and must speak a lot of Spanish, but they don’t speak it with me (except Jarisa who is Dominican and Chad who is “off” this week, so we didn’t see as much of him). The say – insist, actually – that Dominican Spanish is not Spanish, that it is so different as to be unintelligible, but up to now I understand the Dominicans I’ve met. Of course, I’m sure the kids will be another story with all their slang and I’ll have to interpret more, as is usually the case with teens.

Upon arriving to the Manna campus, there was a little time to unpack and arrange our things. I was very excited to see there is a volleyball court and we would play there every day. I liked how everyone just jumped in whenever, everyone was always welcome even if it meant 8-10 people on a side!

 

Tomorrow we’ll see if I still understand the Spanish from around here since it’s Community Day. We’re going to homes of local people (families of kids who attend Manna Christian School) and later with kids at Manna Community Center in Río San Juan for a program called Princesas y Pescadores (Princesses and Fishermen).

It’s a bit rustic here (ok, a lot) but like camping. The showers are military style – cold water and use as little as possible – a little to get wet, scrub up, then rinse off, and once a day max- if there is enough water that day. For the toilet the rule is: if it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down, and don’t even think about putting toilet paper in the pot. There’s a stick if you forget! (piece of rebar). I've been back for over a week now and I still catch myself thinking "oh, no! I put the paper in the toilet!" Right now, I can’t even imagine becoming comfortable with the lack of privacy here, I mean there aren't even curtains on the showers, and you are using the bathroom right in front of everyone. As I look back, I’m amazed thinking about how in such a short time we were all comfortable undressing in front of one another, using the bathroom, showering, etc. It’s all so normal, why waste time worrying about such things in conditions such as these.

Tonight we played volleyball and I braided almost everyone’s hair. Dinner was beans and rice with fried yucca (it was all so delicious!) but we had to do the dishes, clean the floors, etc. afterwards. There will be chores every evening. After all, we came to serve, right? After we showered, we chatted on the patio for hours and Washy (Darlin), who is the night security guard, made us Dominican coffee. I would write “Guachi” because his nickname comes from “Guachiman” (I’m guessing - it means watchman), but he writes “Washy”. The coffee is exactly like café cubano but slightly less strong and without the foam. He says they also commonly add some nutmeg, but he didn’t make it for us that way. Well, it’s already 12:30am and the bugs are going crazy with the light, even with my fan (and the anti-mosquito net). More later!