What makes the perfect husband?

The title is a bit misleading. I have no intention of defining what makes the perfect husband. In fact I'm pretty sure the "perfect husband" doesn't exist. Every woman's needs are unique and there is no one man who could meet every woman's needs. I can only say that mine is perfect for me.

I am just amazed every day that he continues to love me and how deeply he does. No woman deserves to feel this loved and treasured, yet I am.

PATIENCE
When we first met, I would not have thought of him as patient, but that defines him now. Early on we had our share of spats, like any couple, and I ended up in tears. Communication, saying what you mean and having that understood for how it was meant- every young couple's struggle! He began a new mantra "assume noble motives." When I said something that may have seemed accusatory or rubbed him the wrong way, he repeated his mantra. Him giving me the benefit of the doubt has ironed out nearly every misunderstanding and brought peace in our relationship. Not to mention the fact that Hannah benefits from seeing her parents handle conflict healthily and her father is more patient with her too!

MATURITY AND GROWTH
There is great debate as to whether people can actually change. I can testify that yes, people can and do. Jeff is a prime example! At some point he got frustrated with his own shortcomings and instead of finding someone to blame for them (family, society, etc.), he decided to take responsibility for them. What he was doing was not leading him to be the person he wanted to be, so he changed his behavior. He limited his exposure to negative influences that caused him to go down the same old paths, encouraged self pity or doubted his ability to change.

Independent of me, his path led him to Jesus. Jeff, who was burned out on religion, who was skeptical of any authority - corporate, governmental, religious, and didn't feel the presence of God at all. Did He exist? Jeff at least didn't declare with certainty that He didn't, but doubted it. However, he knew He was real to me and respected that. I learned early on I was not responsible for his salvation, that was his personal choice. I never pushed him or preached, just loved him. On and off he would show interest. One day, as he had been walking closer with Him, he heard a word "baptism." That led him down the path he is currently on, following Jesus. Hannah was only a toddler, but she remembers her daddy getting baptized. I pray one day soon she will make the same decision. She wants to be just like her daddy in everything, which is a good thing!

I am never more reminded of how far he has come than when interacting with his family. His dad seems to go out of his way to get a rise out of him, but he never bites. If his dad says something outlandish, selfish or crass, he concedes graciously, taking the wind out of his sails. Jeff doesn't react the same way anymore, he is a different person. I am far less patient with him than Jeff is! He is a new creation and has a whole new family dynamic. I'm so proud of Jeff!

GENEROSITY AND THOUGHTFULNESS
I giggle when I remember how much of a spendthrift Jeff used to be and how he is now! Back in our college days, he would give me constant grief about buying a cold Diet Coke in the student center because it was so much cheaper to buy in bulk at the grocery store. Our friends were unanimous in that it was my money and he was being ridiculous. Fast forward to now where if I even mention I'm thirsty he offers to drive to the Kum & Go and buy me cold DCs. He's ridiculous in the other direction. I always have to tell him not to buy me things, but he loves to pamper me.

The reason he was so cautious and hated to spend money was about one thing: security. Now that his faith rests not in this world, he is generous with his resources. He has trusted God with his resources and seen that He is faithful. He is generous and purposeful about giving at church and a number of other organizations. We still are very thrifty, but not out of fear. He has discovered that the proverb is true: He who refreshes others himself will be refreshed.

Jeff has not been to the Dominican Republic nor does he know any of the people there, yet he has supported me 100%. When I wanted to sponsor a child I had met there, he was on board. We have been cutting back even more in order to afford to do so, and I was dismayed that he had gotten me a Christmas gift, despite the fact we agreed not to. When I opened it up, it was a piece of paper. He had made a significant donation to the child we sponsor in the DR. I was so touched - the perfect gift! He loves to spoil me, but the reason his gifts are so perfect is that they are done out of a deep desire to please the recipient not the giver. He is one of the most selfless people I know - and he makes me feel like the most loved wife alive!

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These are but a few of the qualities that make Jeff the perfect husband for me. I've been meaning to blog about him and how blessed I am for a while now, but time has gotten away from me. Now, the last day of 2013, it seems appropriate to spend it honoring my husband and the man he has become. I can't wait to see what 2014 holds for us!