How to make yourself miserable

Some of the following sound simply ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure I've done every single one of them at one point or another...

How to make yourself miserable:

1. Make a list of your problems. Be sure to do so first thing in the morning so you can get started focusing on them right away.

2. Be sure to worry about something every day. Even if nothing is quite pressing right now, you wouldn't want to get out of practice.

3. Feel sorry for yourself. It's you against the world, and if you don't, who will?

4. Find a way to serve both God and money. Serving God is the "Sunday school answer," but we all know money makes the world go round.


5. Compare yourself to others. How else will you measure your own success? Keep your eyes open and don't become complacent or satisfied with what you have or who you are. Someone out there has more and is better, never forget that.

6. Avoid absolutes, morality is all relative. The only real truth is inside of you, and what's right for you is all that matters.

7. Stand up for yourself, first and foremost.  Never mind other people- they'll take care of themselves.

8. Don't be such a bleeding heart. People just walk all over you anyway. If you waste too much time getting involved in other people's troubles, you many neglect your own.

9. Be sure to keep up on the news, TV and social media. You need to stay in touch and be current. If you have time afterwards, then read your bible. You can always do that later because it stays the same and you aren't missing anything.


Paraphrased from "Several Ways to Make Yourself Miserable" from Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliott