Back on the wagon!

Well, it's been since really May of 2012 that I've been on Weight Watchers, but I just joined again. It was time. I have gained 13 lbs. from my smallest, which I don't think sounds terrible, but I've just been on a downhill slide since the beginning of the year. And I'm sick of it.

With my dad's heart surgery in January, my grandma's tumor and last year's school year, plus the preparations for the DR, I began to gain weight. I kept thinking once summer hit it would be like the year before where I just lost weight without trying. Didn't happen. In fact, I kept gaining.

My pants are all too tight. In fact, tonight I tried on one pair of jeans that I had from before I lost all the weight that were really too loose on me. Everyone I was close to said get rid of them, they were just way too loose and even unflattering, but I loved how they felt and kept them for lounging around. Well, they fit perfectly now, ugh. But it's not all about the clothes. I'm tired of always feeling bloated- I miss not feeling self-conscious about my love handles and tummy, not to mention thighs.

But these are all just outward signs of my lack of self-control. But really, my idol worship- food. I have never been able to just "watch it" to get back on track when it comes to eating/weight. I have to get extreme and do a sort of de-tox, to break the pull - stronghold is a better word.

I have felt closer to God than ever in my life, more in tune with His will, serving Him more than ever before. However, I am NOT immune to sin's pull, and it has snuck in stealthily to distract me and steal my joy. So even though it is money I keep telling myself is not wasted, I joined WW again. I will be accountable! I will discipline my eating, turning to God and God alone for my comfort, not food. Say a little prayer for me if you would!