Transition

I haven't talked to really anyone since I've returned from the DR Mission Trip except my husband, mother and sister. My husband always "gets" me and I've been in deep conversation with him about the changes in me, as I'm trying to figure them out myself.

My mom and sister, I feel, probably speak for everyone else in thinking -wow, it must be nice to be back in the A/C and have all the comforts of being home again. Actually, no, it's not. How can I tell them that I only miss everything about the DR right now? I wasn't ready to come home and now that I'm here, I don't know what to do with myself.

Here's what it was like living in the DR:
1. There was always something for me to do, a service I was needed for - be it physical labor, sharing the gospel, teaching children, playing with them, loving on them, encouraging others

2. I was completely "unplugged" so there was no one to get back to, no email, no interruptions, no frustrations of waiting for things to load or work properly

3. The people there either a) love Jesus and are devoting their life to knowing Him better and serving Him or b) are in a desperate situation and are open to help and/or learning about Jesus (or already do love him)

4. We SANG in moments of sadness, while working or just to pass the time. It was okay to cry and tell each other we loved each other. Our emotions were not buried deep inside while we put up a front so it appeared we had it all together. Like the song says "may my steps be worship, may my thoughts be praise..." we did

5. I was so connected to God, seeking His will for me and experiencing His love that I no longer was bothered when things didn't go "my way". I mean, to be honest, normally when I drop something or experience minor frustrations, I'm boiling over and even swearing. Not so anymore.

Now, mind you, many of these changes can be transferred to life here- not being so "plugged in", have quiet time like we did there to read my bible, journal and reflect, worship throughout the day in song and in my heart, serve others I know and in the community (make food for a friend, volunteer, etc.), donate from the great excess that I (and most Americans) have. But many of these things I was doing before...

However, it is just not the same. Americans here do not know the need those we met in the DR do. Many feel "entitled" to help from the government and churches with little appreciation, or at least don't want to acknowledge the givers of their assistance. There is often a feeling of superiority of those who give/serve over the recipients instead of a connection like there was in the DR.

Most of all, I made real friends that I miss intensely. I felt like my presence, my love - Jesus' love- was more needed than anything physical/material that I had to offer. I will never forget those children and many of the teens will be adults when we come back in 2015, God willing.

So no, I'm not glad to be back, but I pray that God will show me the way to continue to serve Him with fervor and love those around me as I learned to do in that special place. After all, at first I would have to admit that I was not thrilled with the conditions and felt at least a little longing to go home. I couldn't sleep, my tummy was upset, I was a bit irritated, but it led me to look to God for fulfillment rather than this world. With DISCIPLINE, I can deny myself and be open to His will for me. It will not be easy, but neither was life in the DR.

No, "easy" and "comfortable" should not describe the life of a Christian. I will continue to pray for God to show me what His will is for me here, as I cling not to my own plans, but to His perfect will.