Idolatry

As I read passages from Hosea, Haggai and Psalms I am convicted of the idolatry in my own life. My struggle is not with porn, sexual immorality, drugs or the like. In many ways, I think it would be easier if it were. My idol is food, which clearly is also a necessity. As I find my relationship with God lacking in fulfillment, it's easy to see why when I turn first not to Him, but to earthly pleasures.

Long after all have gone and I'm grading papers, I shovel in whatever munchies are around. When I get to the end of a busy day, it's easier to flip on the TV and scarf junk than open my bible and think. I just get numb and instead of opening my heart and facing my feelings, taking them to God, I numb myself more.

Food is such a bad god, too. That's how idols are - temporarily they comfort and half-fill a need only God can truly meet. Plus, it leaves me disgusted with myself and physically worse off than before. "Focus on me more," it tells me, so I diet and pay even more attention to it. I don't have a weight problem, I have a heart problem.

There's another reason I started this blog - to examine what I'm thinking and feeling and give those feelings and thoughts to God. I want a closer relationship with God because He deserves the glory and because its what I need too.