Day 6: Worship

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Worship

Setup for worship before everyone got there

I'm just in awe and amazement of how wonderfully things went. I felt and saw the Spirit moving all around. We sang a number of songs in Spanish from the hymnals, almost all of which were songs in English as well, so it was easier for us all to worship together.

Logan did the Lord's Supper and shared as an example when the kids at the Gri Gri Lagoon on the scavenger hunt in Rio San Juan cleaned his shoes with a toothbrush. He made the analogy between that humility that Jesus exhibited with His disciples when He washed their feet - it was just before He was crucified and such a powerful way to show His sincere love for them. It was so beautiful I stopped him and translated it so those who didn't understand English very well wouldn't miss it.

During the Lord's supper, Angel and Fernando, two of the Dominican boys who are graduating, played "Eres maravilloso, Jesus" (you are wonderful, Jesus) on their guitars and sang. Listening to it back just doesn't do it justice, it was so beautiful. I was completely moved to tears at their expression of faith and our common love for Jesus. Watch it here.

Afterwards, Kailey read the scripture, 1 Corinthians 13:12-
"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

This was the culmination of about 2 weeks of getting to witness the Holy Spirit working on my heart and working out His will. I wrote a lesson that came to me while preparing for VBS from Acts 16. Without getting into tremendous detail, I initially felt the push to share it. At times it seemed like maybe it wasn't meant to be. I can honestly say I was okay either way, which is so weird.

TIMEOUT: Let me stop and remind you (if you didn't already know) a few things about myself. I'm a control freak in so many ways - well, at least a type A personality. I'm constantly trying to make plans and solidify what happens so I can be mentally ready and have things organized. Also as much as I would like to pretend it's not true, I'm very concerned with what others think of me and that concern turns into nerves when I'm afraid of looking stupid. My mind goes blank, my throat gets dry, I shake - if you share a phobia for public speaking, you know exactly what it's like. I still can't believe I became a teacher because when I get in front of people, that's what happens.

So regarding the control freak side, I was simply not myself through all of this. Admittedly, at every turn I was almost relieved it looked like I may not speak, but I just listened for His will and let Him lead me- not pushing to share, yet not being afraid of obeying the call. Yet I literally didn't even think about it or let it weigh on me, I just trusted that if the Spirit gave me a message to share, that someone needed to hear, then He would bring it to them. If He wanted me to share it, He would enable and empower me to do it, and if not, then that was okay with me. So much for the control freak.

The moment had come and instead of being nervous, I just thought there must be someone there who needed this message, one the Holy Spirit had entrusted me to deliver, so I did. I wasn't nervous at all because I didn't worry about looking stupid- I didn't care. It wasn't about me. My mind was clear and I spoke with clarity and authority. I can think of times throughout my life where God has empowered me, but this time went a step beyond. I didn't feel the nerves even try to take over beforehand, I just focused on God and that if He intended for this message to be shared, He was going to make it happen. Honestly, thinking about it NOW makes me nervous, so much so I almost didn't write this blog. I'm being serious; I wish I weren't so ridiculous, but then God's strength wouldn't be so powerfully displayed in my life. To God be the glory! So much for the nerves.

Then Jim spoke and the message God put on his heart complemented what I shared so perfectly, and went with the verse Kailey read. At first it was a little difficult for him to get used to pausing for me to translate, then he got more comfortable and it went smoothly. Once I had to ask him to repeat: he talked about the disciples on the road to Emmaus and my mind immediately went through the whole story. I wanted to make sure I didn't translate more than he had shared! I loved interpreting for him - he's such an inspired speaker and it was fun to share what he said in Spanish. I did play with him a bit because he said in English something about not knowing Spanish so he'd be speaking in English with an interpreter. I told everyone he said he could do it in Spanish but just wanted to see if I could interpret for him. They laughed, which of course confused him! I let him in on the joke later :)

some volleyball after services 

Glen and a few visitors who are temporarily working at the Christian Center in Rio San Juan

Sandy and Ryan

Getting ready to pray before lunch

I got to see Luisauny again after services, just briefly, but would get to see her that night at movie night.

Children's Home
This afternoon we went to the Children's Home and played with the kids. Many played knockout on the basketball court. It was pretty hot though, so a number of us played with the kids indoors and under the shelter by the basketball court, playing board games and painting fingernails- even the guys!

Playing connect four...or just putting chips in!

Morgan and her good buddy Yasmeri. She taught her to say "You crazy!" 

Knockout

Even the Dominican kids were overheating (sitting on the wall)

Porfi and me

Kailey was a natural with these girls - her Spanish is really good and she was helping them with their English too!

Jeff was lifting Chochi up with her just holding 2 of his fingers. I didn't get a good picture, but he got her several feet off the ground!

Nice nails, Garrett! Brought to you by Enyer :)

We also had a tour of some of the play rooms and where children are observed before being placed there, as well as where they receive therapy, just in case we forgot so many of these kids have dark, sad pasts from which they need healing. They seem so happy and normal, which masks their underlying brokenness, yet also is evidence of the healing that has already taken place here.

Hey look, it's the Giving Tree!

Movie Night

Tonight we hustled to get dinner, chores done and the pad all set up for movie night. The movie was Ant Bully. One cute little girl was giving Lauren, one of the interns, a hard time and she wouldn't sit down with the other kids because she wanted popcorn. I took her to sit down and she behaved a short while. They brought red kool-aid which she joyfully grabbed and began to sip. 5 seconds later, Meredith came with the popcorn and started to ask me (since she was so young) if she could have some and in that split second before either of us could react, she lunged for the popcorn, tossing her entire cup of red kool-aid all over the both of us. I went to the dorm to change and when I came back didn't find a place to sit, which was fine. I wasn't really in the mood for the movie anyway.

I headed down to Hope's house, as we had talked about me coming to visit her today some time and I hadn't had a chance yet. Ali saw I was going and came too. Hope wasn't home, so we just sat on the relatively cool cement porch and chatted. The more I get to know Ali and Clayton both (he's in my little group, team D!), the more I want to hang out with them. They are so hilarious and just sweethearts!

Hope got home shortly after and invited us in, giving us "the tour." Her house is really nice, which she shares with another missionary who isn't here right now. Ali headed back and Hope and I caught up a while, which was so nice. Then, Luisauny came and found me there- I hadn't seen her at the movie!! I'm glad she came to say goodbye, but wished I had seen her earlier :(

Later on, we played pitch with Ali, Jeff and Brent. Why didn't anyone ever think to teach the guy with the PhD in math how to play sooner? He was a natural!

Lessons from John 9

Monday, June 15, 2015

Well, I skipped Sunday, but I'll get back to that another day. I wasn't going to blog today, but I felt compelled to open my journal. When I opened to my quiet time reading and reflections from Monday, June 15th, it is looking a lot like Jim's sermon from today - I can't believe it didn't occur to me during church! Maybe that's why God prompted me to open my journal. I don't know if I'm the one who needs this lesson today or someone else, so I'm sharing today!

"Today I read John 9

We see "broken people," illness and brokenness, and we want to know who's to blame. Jesus responds clearly that it is so that God's work may be evident in his life and He heals him.

How much time have we lost looking for the cause of problems, of sin, instead of loving people and letting Jesus be the light in their lives? Here in the Dominican Republic, there are so many children without fathers. The influence of fathers and adult men is so bad that the Dominican government prefers to place children with a single mother instead of two parents. A generation without a father needs THE Father. There is no need to find who's to blame, we need to share Jesus with them, to teach them to be parents, to love as God loves, to teach the children how valued and loved they are by their heavenly Father.

The man born blind in John 9 was no doubt rejected by society, pushed aside as one who had nothing to offer. Yet having only just been healed by Jesus, he defended his Healer, undauntedly, to the religious authorities. Even his parents were afraid of their powerful influence, but he was changed in more ways than one.

We see time and again that those who are healed, cleaned by Jesus, are empowered. The woman at the well in John 4 would be another example of someone who should have doubted herself or her ability to stand up to society, yet she couldn't be silent about her encounter with Jesus. We are cleaned and healed by Jesus and are empowered too. We are emboldened, there are no barriers to sharing our experience!

I also find it interesting the blind man, despite not having much knowledge of the scriptures presented the gospel clearly and ably to his accusers, the masters of God's word in that day. Don't get me wrong, it is good to read the bible regularly and know it well - it is how we learn what God's will for us is and it is how He speaks to us today! However, in order to share the gospel, all we must do is know Jesus and tell of His work in our lives.

In verses 30-33, the man tells what Jesus has done and reasons that He must be from God. Let's not reject God's word as the Pharisees did because He uses someone "less than perfect" to reach out to us. Let's look at the works He has done and believe in Him!"

Day 5: VBS, the hike and meeting Luisauny!!!

Saturday, June 13, 2015

VBS
VBS went so smoothly this time- we just felt no nerves about it, as we were more comfortable with the venue- it was on campus- and knew almost all the kids better since they were from Bobita. Also, there were less than half the kids that were in Rio San Juan, under 50. Instead of Dominican teens, we led the singing this time and it was fun.

Hippopotamus song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjPfv8vK2zo
Watch the little girl dancing in front: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf-cjKsBQ74

Our skit went well too. The little dancing girl wandered on "stage" and I drew her near me so she wouldn't get hurt. I think the Dominican kids all enjoyed the skit and got into it. Again, I was so proud of the SW teens.

The story went well and since the kids were divided into age groups, I got to adjust the story - keeping it basic for the little ones and asking tougher questions with the bigger kids. One of the central points I drove home was that God loves us no matter what- unconditionally. It sounds so basic, but when you ask the question, "Does God love us when we steal, lie, or hurt someone?" The instinct for the kids and us is to say no. But it's not true! I didn't want any of the kids, regardless of age, to miss that important point.  Also, it was neat because some of the Dominican teens had been baptized in the river, just like the jailer and his family so they had some background knowledge. We then had kool-aid and granola bars for a snack as part of this "station."

By the way, the story is when God used Paul and Silas to reach the Philippian jailer, saving him physically and spiritually after the earthquake that broke the jail open. Read more here: Acts 16:16-36

We ran out of the story/activity books I made, as well as the jail craft, so those books my students made came in real handy! One station consisted of several of us sitting with a few kids each and reading the books to them. They really enjoyed them and got to take one home after VBS was over. It's a project I will definitely have my kids do again in the future!

The final station was games, which is always a big hit. Here is a little video, although beware, it's a little dizzying.

Once it was over, we gathered everyone on the pad, thanked them for coming, gave them a bouncy ball that said "Jesus loves you," a book and a bracelet that said "Cristo me ama" (Jesus loves me).

Luisauny
Now comes my favorite part!!! My husband and I finally got to see Luisauny! She is just precious and we love her so much. Her first impression with Jeff (that she shared with me) was that she expected him to be more shy or quiet. He was very loud, laughed a lot and hugged her. She warmed up to him immediately. Her English is very good, so she can communicate with Jeff and Hannah :) She only just turned 15 a few weeks ago, but she'll be a senior (or 4th year, as they say here) next year. I like how instead of saying sponsor or sponsored child, in Spanish they said godparents and godchild. It's a relationship. We've been writing the past 2 years and I've loved getting to see her heart. I can't wait to get to know her even more!

We got her a Max Lucado devotional book in Spanish for her birthday and it turns out she LOVES Max Lucado!

The hike
We also went on the hike from last time. It was a beautiful, if hot, day for a hike. Everyone who went made it just fine and it was neat seeing ReNay blaze up the hill after she was so worn out the last time. We snapped lots of pix at the top, as the view is fabulous.

Jeff and everyone I normally hike with can attest that I never find anyone who likes to descend as fast as I do, so when a group took off running, I followed suit. However, they were far too fast for me, so I was quickly left in the dust. Besides that, I fell...a lot. The first time I was so focused on the riveted, rocky path that I missed a branch at forehead level. The second time, I was concerned about one of the little kids getting away from his dad and lost my concentration. The third time I was just clumsy and realizing I was a bit old and unfit to be running at break-neck speed down rough, steep terrain. I then continued more comfortably but still at a good clip, slipping through the barbed wire fences alone, until I came to a split in the woods with 3 possible paths. Just because I had no idea, I knew I had to go back and find the closest group behind me, which was a good 5 minutes. I found the Dominican girls and they slowed way down but we had good conversation and they were so busy finding mangoes for me the next group quickly caught us :) So we all made it back safe and sound, even if a little beat up. I was more embarrassed than anything at my knee that I was sure was just a tiny surface wound and would heal in a day or two. Yesterday (3 weeks later!) the last of the scab finally came off.

This was my favorite day so far and I'll give you one guess why...

Day 4: Physical suffering

Friday, June 12, 2015

I was looking forward to our work day, but my participation ended up being minimal. It all worked out just as God had planned, though, even if I didn't know why just yet. Later I would.

First I'll share with you my journaling from quiet time today. As is usually the case, I just flipped my bible open and read. It could *not* have been more prophetic of how today would go, even though I didn't realize it at the time.

"I read 1 Peter 4 - about how Christ suffered in the body and they we must suffer too in order to be done with sin. When we suffer, we no longer live to satisfy our physical desires, rather we do the will of God. Perfect for us all now, in this place lacking in physical luxuries. Suffering is good, not just for mere suffering's sake, rather to mold our character and to be done with sin and to identify with Christ, which reminds me of Romans 5:3-5:

3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

How hard it is to accept (much less seek out) suffering in our lives! Our most basic instincts are to survive, yes, but not only that, we want to be happy, comfortable, at peace- all elusive to us. The more we seek these things, the more impossible they are to grasp. Only through our suffering do we find peace. Self-discipline is so necessary yet it is not easy. If it were, it wouldn't be discipline. I continually make the mistake of thinking it will get easier. True, some things get easier with practice, but others pop up or sins I abandon creep back in my life. I will never be able to coast. My dad has told me, "I can't wait to die so I can be done with sin." I get it; I'm going to be letting Jesus down until I die. Thank God for His mercy and sacrifice on my behalf! Also, I'm so grateful for the Holy Spirit that helps me. The Spirit helps me overcome and not live as a slave to the desires of the flesh and produces fruit in me: love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, self-control and so much more. This is summarized from Galatians 5:16ff"

At this point my journal ended and I was not well.

I should fill you in, the first time I took my weekly malaria pill I only felt a tad stomach upset. The second time was yesterday and I definitely was affected. I was very dizzy and felt weird - as was another who was taking the same one and had taken it that day. I figured I'd get past it and be fine. Nope. Note: the missionaries all say there is NO malaria within 100+ miles, so there's no need to take the malaria medicine. 

I ate breakfast fine and was okay until midway through quiet time, after which it was apparent the intestinal upset from the malaria medication had aggravated my intestinal endometriosis. I was feeling pretty weak and terrible but sincerely didn't want to miss work day, where everyone was scraping paint, painting, digging a septic pipe, etc. I scraped some paint and raked a little, but I was just not well. ReNay, ever the nurse, talked some sense into me ("Theresa, we need you for VBS tomorrow!") so I went to go play with Harrison - in the shade on his porch. We threw a ring attached to a string and tried to catch it on a hook. I could sit and rest between turns and it was shaded, almost cool cement. Soon that wasn't enough and I headed back to the dorm. I laid on the floor with a fan since it was cooler and easier to get up (mosquito net). Jeff was sweet and checked in on me from time to time, bringing me water.

By the time I was feeling well enough to sit/stand up, everyone had eaten lunch (my favorite- Dominican chicken!) and was going to pick up the kids from the Children's Home and go to the river to swim. They were originally going to put another coat of paint on the container/roof, but this is probably the hottest it has been so that was impossible (the container they were painting is metal!). While the river sounded so refreshing, riding in the Daihatsu was simply out of the question - it's like a popcorn popper! So, I sat on the pad with the lunch plate that Jeff made sure to have them save for me and began to nibble (it was around 3pm and I was feeling more settled.) It was just perfect: mild chicken, rice, plantains. I'm so glad they saved it for me because dinner wasn't as tummy friendly and I wasn't hungry for dinner anyway since I got done eating after 4!

I ran into someone else and had a talk that I'd have missed were I never sick, for I'd have been at the river. I later thought, God, maybe this is why. I'll tell you the rest of the story later :)

Day 3: Heartbreak Day, part 2 (the dump)

Thursday, June 11, 2015 (afternoon)

After the hospital, everyone went to the Fort and had sandwiches for lunch, then had a brief historical tour. A balm to our soul was the view of the ocean and the salty breezes. We snapped lots of pictures before heading to the dump.

Also, Paul took a few of us in search of a place to get copies of the book for VBS, but we couldn't find anywhere. We will find an alternative, it isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

The dump
So, in case you didn't know, people actually live at the dump. The piles of smelly garbage are what they call home. They scrounge and find what people throw away to get by. People like us used to go in there to help, but the government now forbids this. Just down the road is a fancy resort and international media did an exposé of people living in the dump, so the government made them move across the street. There still are people who live in the dump though, but no one else is allowed in.

Across the street is basically a treeless, gravel expanse with some large machinery belonging to the dump. It is extremely sunny and hot with no shade, except near the equipment when not in use. There is sort of a shantytown off to the side where everyone actually lives.

View of the housing area from the Daihatsu

This year it was a little different because this area is now private property. It is gated off, but whoever bought it still allows the people to live there and lets us come in too.  Now there is a gas station immediately next door to the gravel area, gated off as you would imagine.

I couldn't possibly imagine why someone would put a gas station there. How much business could you get on this stretch of road, next door to people living in the most desperate of conditions, and who could stand to be reminded daily of their misery? And then Jeff and a few of the guys talked with the owner of the gas station. We pulled over there just before we left, and he became choked up, thanking us for what we were doing for the people there. I am pretty sure I can guess who bought this land and why. Now no one can kick these people off of their land. It may be desolate and scant, but it is their home. I don't know if that's really why or if that man is responsible for protecting them, but it's what I choose to believe.

Here is video of the kids coming.

After we arrived, we quickly piled out of the Daihatsu to play with the kids. We were all surrounded and treated like celebrities. Everyone had several kids grab them, want shoulder rides, to be held, to play, to have attention.

This is Anai (pronounced: On Ah EE) and she grabbed me right away. She ran around holding my hand and showing me off to everyone. She was jealous whenever I tried to pick up or give attention to any other kids.

 Here is some video of us playing with the kids. Here's another. A number of us girls painted the little girls' nails. Some of them would scratch or wipe it off so they could come and get some more. They said over and over "préstamelo" (lend it to me), but we didn't have enough for everyone so it would create divisions among them. We couldn't let them hold it.

After we had played for a while (45 minutes??), with the help of Wanda, one of the ladies who lives at the dump and who has become our helper, we circled the kids up to sing a few songs. She wanted me to start and lead a few, so we sang Cristo me ama (Jesus loves me), Tengo paz como el rio (I've got peace like a river) and El amor de Dios es maravilloso (God's love is wonderful). She led a few we didn't know but caught onto, like Alabaré a mi Señor (I will praise my Lord). 

Then, the kids all lined up for the care packages we made for them (ziploc with toothpaste, toothbrush, bar soap, granola bar, comb/brush), which just seemed so horribly inadequate. They also got kool-aid and a snack. The adults came next and they got rice and beans (dried). We had to line everyone up and form a line of us to guide them along to the other side once they had gone through the line, making sure no one came through twice. I know I had to sweet talk a young man (early 20s?) who was attempting to get back in line to gently send him back without causing an incident. I also had to be a little more firm in trying to stop an old lady who was doing the same thing. Many either tried to shove the rice and beans in their clothes to slip back in line unnoticed or to drop it off somewhere/to someone and get back in line. 

It is heart breaking because you understand how desperate, how hungry, how in need they are, but have to enforce rules otherwise chaos breaks out and it is fair to no one. Survival is an ugly thing. You do it at the expense of those around you. There are a limited number of resources and each one thinks, "I need that." And they each do. So when you manage to survive, to acquire resources, you know it is at the expense of someone else. At times there was even a glory in it, a satisfaction in having what others didn't. The kids used us in a way as status. I felt like I was Anai's prize- she ran around showing me to everyone and I was hers. She didn't know anything about me but I was someone to call hers. To make her feel special. I was willing to be hers just so she had somebody, just for a while, to love her for a moment. 

One may hope that this is a temporary situation, living in this place for a little while, but since we had been before, we were not afforded the luxury of that illusion. It is so overwhelming seeing so many kids and people all around you, vying for your attention, but even in those circumstances, I recognized a few from last time. 

This little girl with a shriveled arm was there 2 years ago when we were here. She is so thin too.

I think the girl in front is the same as the girl in plaid above

This kid is absolutely adorable, which is why he stuck out in my mind.

Here's a picture of him from 2 years ago. What a ham!

It was too much for us at the time to think that these kids, precious children of God, were living in the dump, where things nobody wants are thrown. What kind of education are they getting? What chances do they have of improving their situation? What are they learning about life? Do they have hope? Do they know Jesus loves them? Can they possibly believe it?

Maybe it's better we couldn't wrap our minds around it. We musn't come and be miserable, crying for them and their future. They needed us to just pick them up and play with them, for us to laugh with them for just a little while. To take pictures of them with our cameras, to immortalize them in a photo, to provide a record of their existence. They needed us to be Jesus to them, no questions, no accusations, no qualifications, just loving them where they were, who they were.

Our care packages are no doubt long since used up. The rice and beans are eaten. They likely have forgotten the love we gave them so briefly. They are hungry again, lonely again. But we remember them. Lord Jesus, let us never forget.

Day 3: Heartbreak Day, part 1 (the hospital)

Thursday, June 11, 2015

So here is my journal from the day we did all the things that we knew would rip our hearts out. It was Puerto Plata day: the day we went to the hospital and the dump.

Last year I felt like I sweat drops of blood praying and dreading this day. I guess this day because I had already experienced it, I didn't have quite as much dread, but I still took it very seriously.

"During quiet time today, I read 2 Corinthians 4 and 5 and Psalm 23. My heart just feels so full, I can't even express it. I won't forget."

That was all I journaled about quiet time that day. Rereading both passages now, wow. I know the way I spent my quiet times was generally pretty Spirit led - I would pray and either a verse would come to me or I'd just flip my bible and see where it led me. I am certain I could not have picked better passages to prepare me for the day. I just can't imagine where to begin to describe or select what part(s) to emphasize of those passages. I strongly urge you to just take a minute to read them yourself (links above).

Hospital in Puerto Plata. No photos allowed inside.

We went to the women's ward while the men went to the men's ward. The rooms seemed so dark and everyone looked sad and/or uncomfortable. There were something like 10-12 beds in each room and not much space for visitors, which most had at least one person there looking out for them because if they didn't no one else would it seemed. We entered in our "entourage" and once we were in, I asked if we could sing for them. No one said no, even if their family member was sleeping. We sang "As the deer" and then "En momentos asi," which we had practiced on the Daihatsu on the way, as it's been maybe since 2 years ago we sang it, and I remember patients' family singing with us last time when we sang it. No one sang with us this time, even though we visited so many more rooms and sang it many more times.

Last year we sang, but we had guys in our group too. The sound of the girls singing was so sweet, it was just like angels. I could barely sing, the notes just stuck in my throat as I fought back tears, trying to keep it together as I saw how much beauty and comfort these girls were bringing to this dark place. One lady was so moved she was watching us, listening, tears just streaming down her face. One girl lost it; she had to turn around. Some of the other girls were in tears but still singing. When they were done, I explained we would come to each of them and pray with them if they wanted. As we split up and in small groups approached each bed, it was helpful to have Edely, one of the Dominican teens, and Monica, a Puerto Rican intern, there to help with Spanish, and the others did their best. Some of the girls do a pretty good job in Spanish, enough to get by. The patients and families felt loved at least. We hugged, sometimes kissed, smiled and gently squeezed their hands. One that broke my heart begged us, "Please come back and visit us."

Some seemed not in too bad of shape, but others were pitiful - skin and bones, deformed, very ill and no one tending to them. Jeff shared with me much later about a man he cannot forget. He was 104 and in really bad shape. There was a family member (daughter, he guessed) who was trying to get him to drink a dark liquid, but it was running all over his face. She came to Jeff and desperately was trying to communicate a need to him. He, with the help of one of the Dominican teens whose English was spotty, gathered that she wanted a towel to wipe his face off. Jeff found a nurse or aid and asked for just a paper towel or tissue, but there was none. He felt crushed that this poor man couldn't even get something to wipe off his face - where is the dignity in that?

In Mexico you have to have family members with you in the hospital because the staff can't look out for the patients. This place seems the same. I don't even want to think what happens to people who have no one. I believe they told us last time that anyone can come in if there's an open bed, they just won't treat them if they don't have the money. Staff seemed very scarce. One of the missionaries indicated there was no triage; that is, those in most need didn't necessarily get treated first so for example someone could bleed to death while someone with a broken bone got treated first because they were there first.

I remember last time how I loved praying with the people and felt so encouraged, so held through the experience that I was a bit sorry when it was time to go. This time was just plain hard. It was so hard each time we went to a different ward and had to pull ourselves together. There were a lot of tears in the halls; the emotional toll was heavy. I personally didn't know how much more I could take. When it was time to go, we breathed a sigh of relief.

That's enough for today. I'll journal about the afternoon at the dump tomorrow.