Day 4: Physical suffering

Friday, June 12, 2015

I was looking forward to our work day, but my participation ended up being minimal. It all worked out just as God had planned, though, even if I didn't know why just yet. Later I would.

First I'll share with you my journaling from quiet time today. As is usually the case, I just flipped my bible open and read. It could *not* have been more prophetic of how today would go, even though I didn't realize it at the time.

"I read 1 Peter 4 - about how Christ suffered in the body and they we must suffer too in order to be done with sin. When we suffer, we no longer live to satisfy our physical desires, rather we do the will of God. Perfect for us all now, in this place lacking in physical luxuries. Suffering is good, not just for mere suffering's sake, rather to mold our character and to be done with sin and to identify with Christ, which reminds me of Romans 5:3-5:

3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

How hard it is to accept (much less seek out) suffering in our lives! Our most basic instincts are to survive, yes, but not only that, we want to be happy, comfortable, at peace- all elusive to us. The more we seek these things, the more impossible they are to grasp. Only through our suffering do we find peace. Self-discipline is so necessary yet it is not easy. If it were, it wouldn't be discipline. I continually make the mistake of thinking it will get easier. True, some things get easier with practice, but others pop up or sins I abandon creep back in my life. I will never be able to coast. My dad has told me, "I can't wait to die so I can be done with sin." I get it; I'm going to be letting Jesus down until I die. Thank God for His mercy and sacrifice on my behalf! Also, I'm so grateful for the Holy Spirit that helps me. The Spirit helps me overcome and not live as a slave to the desires of the flesh and produces fruit in me: love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, self-control and so much more. This is summarized from Galatians 5:16ff"

At this point my journal ended and I was not well.

I should fill you in, the first time I took my weekly malaria pill I only felt a tad stomach upset. The second time was yesterday and I definitely was affected. I was very dizzy and felt weird - as was another who was taking the same one and had taken it that day. I figured I'd get past it and be fine. Nope. Note: the missionaries all say there is NO malaria within 100+ miles, so there's no need to take the malaria medicine. 

I ate breakfast fine and was okay until midway through quiet time, after which it was apparent the intestinal upset from the malaria medication had aggravated my intestinal endometriosis. I was feeling pretty weak and terrible but sincerely didn't want to miss work day, where everyone was scraping paint, painting, digging a septic pipe, etc. I scraped some paint and raked a little, but I was just not well. ReNay, ever the nurse, talked some sense into me ("Theresa, we need you for VBS tomorrow!") so I went to go play with Harrison - in the shade on his porch. We threw a ring attached to a string and tried to catch it on a hook. I could sit and rest between turns and it was shaded, almost cool cement. Soon that wasn't enough and I headed back to the dorm. I laid on the floor with a fan since it was cooler and easier to get up (mosquito net). Jeff was sweet and checked in on me from time to time, bringing me water.

By the time I was feeling well enough to sit/stand up, everyone had eaten lunch (my favorite- Dominican chicken!) and was going to pick up the kids from the Children's Home and go to the river to swim. They were originally going to put another coat of paint on the container/roof, but this is probably the hottest it has been so that was impossible (the container they were painting is metal!). While the river sounded so refreshing, riding in the Daihatsu was simply out of the question - it's like a popcorn popper! So, I sat on the pad with the lunch plate that Jeff made sure to have them save for me and began to nibble (it was around 3pm and I was feeling more settled.) It was just perfect: mild chicken, rice, plantains. I'm so glad they saved it for me because dinner wasn't as tummy friendly and I wasn't hungry for dinner anyway since I got done eating after 4!

I ran into someone else and had a talk that I'd have missed were I never sick, for I'd have been at the river. I later thought, God, maybe this is why. I'll tell you the rest of the story later :)